Here's what I know to be true for me: We are all free to live our lives how we please... the opinion that matters most when it comes to yourself is your own! Not anyone else's! My opinion about how you live your life is NOT important, we all know what is right and what is wrong for us! I have my opinions and views on how we should live, but it's not important unless you think so! I try to live up to my expectations of myself.
For example I think we should ALL drink at least 4 glasses of water a day -- so I try to live up to that goal for me. I think it would be good for all of us, and I think it should be a priority for everyone. That's what I think -- I am allowed to have that belief. But that doesn't mean that you have to believe me or agree with me or even do it or feel pressure because I think that! That's MY opinion. We are all allowed to have opinions.
I think people shouldn't have road-rage, because I believe it is unhealthy, I think people should save money, I think people should take responsibility for their feelings, I think people should learn how to express themselves... I think these are GOOD things and HEALTHY things. I think the world would be a better place if people did these things. I think people should strive to be HONEST, I think people should exercise, I think people should be loving. Again, those are MY opinions.
The people who are close to me DO NOT have to AGREE -- NOBODY has to agree with me. But I agree with myself and that's good enough. When people around me hear me say these things they feel pressure... but that is not my fault! I think people should look for God, but I have many friends who are atheists and I love them dearly... I don't expect other people to have MY set of beliefs! I think all singers should take voice lessons and practice and rehearse and eat healthy and workout. But that doesn't mean I force my voice students to do that. I make SUGGESTIONS, I give ADVICE, I teach CAUSE AND EFFECT... according to what I have seen.
Am I perfect? No! Do I live up to all my ideals? No! Do I want to? Not really! I don't want to be perfect! I like being human and learning from my mistakes.
NOBODY HAS TO AGREE WITH ME... EVER! NOBODY HAS TO FEEL PRESSURED BY ME... EVER!
BUT I AM ALWAYS ALLOWED TO HAVE MY POINT OF VIEW, MY OPINION, MY MIND. AND SO ARE YOU!
I ALSO HAVE A RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND AND CHANGE THE WAY I SEE THINGS AND CHANGE MY BELIEFS... I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE A FLEXIBLE HUMAN BEING -- I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE MYSELF FULLY! ALWAYS!
Amen.
Friday, January 14, 2011
What 99.9% of us (including me) don't realize
"Reality" is not necessarily what you and I think it is. The way to prove this is to take ten different people and ask each one of them what reality is -- take for example asking someone what the best car is... someone will say "They're all the same they have four wheels," another will say "BMW's," another one will say "Toyota's," another will say "Mercedes Benz," another will say "That's a stupid question," another will say "It's subjective"... you get the idea, for each of these individuals "reality" is whatever they think it is... the person that thinks it's "subjective" will argue with the guy that swears up and down that it's "BMW" -- the guy with the "subjective" argument will have tons of intelligent, coherent and sense-making evidence to prove his point, just as the guy that said "BMW" will have tons of intelligent, coherent and sense-making evidence to prove his.
To go on with examples, take an artist... some think the best singer in the world was Frank Sinatra, others would say that he wasn't even closer to being the best singer. I used to think Ricky Martin was the best singer in the world, while my best friend would think that he sucked ass. Now, to get even close let's take our opinions of the people around us, some may think that John Doe is a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor, while others may think he is a conceited asshole with no tact. Who's right and who's wrong?
The interesting and tricky thing about perception is that it can change within oneself many, many times. The guy we think is a saint today may seem like the devil the day after. "Wow, I really think that man you introduced me to is educated and wonderful," and a week later the same person may say "That guy you introduced me to that day is a total moron, did you see how he spoke to her?"
Most of us don't know this, but our perception is playing a game with all of us. We would never want to believe this, and of course, this is an article being written by MY PERCEPTION so I could be wrong or right at any given moment depending on the individual and the situation. It is my opinion that there is a .1% of the population that can view things clearly, and it is my opinion that anyone who is passionately interested in perceiving THE TRUTH OF REALITY can cross over to the side of accurate perception. Does that mean that you will be better than others? Absolutely not... it will mean that you know that you DON'T KNOW ANYTHING because you CAN'T KNOW ANYTHING. The people who are in this .1% don't know more than you and me, they know LESS. They don't know what the "right" religion is, they don't know what the "right" fashion is, they don't know what the "truth" is... they know that the individual human mind does NOT have the ability to "KNOW THE TRUTH" of ANYTHING.
Most of us walk around believing that we know who the other is, who God is, what the "right" religion is, what people "should be like," how things actually are. Most of us would deny the possibility of not being absolutely correct about our shallow and deep views. Most of us think that it is not possible that we are wrong about our deep beliefs. Most of us would never even consider that our point of view is relative. Most of us are just looking to be right about everything we believe and we find "proof" anywhere we please. We make ideas in our heads about someone else or some subject and then we wait and collect all the "evidence" that proves that we are "right."
I will write from my perspective -- most of us are not aware of how delusional we can be. Most of us are CONVINCED that we KNOW THE TRUTH and that is simply not the case.
I personally think that a good solution for this is understanding that it is okay to have our individual beliefs and points of view, but to not actually believe that we are exclusively right and that we know better than everyone else. To see oneself as an individual with individual points of view and opinions, which are totally fine, as long as we are not ABSOLUTE about them. When we think that what we believe is the only correct way to see things, that is violence. Others are entitled to their perspectives and remaining open and receptive is the only way to truly be healthy.
If you find yourself saying things like "That's enough, this is stupid, yeah right, you're wrong" or being passive aggressive and sarcastic and not giving others the benefit of the doubt or give them a chance to clarify their points, that means your mind is closed and obviously so is your heart. If you are taking this note personally, that also means that you are concluding that this note must be exclusively about you and you may even be feeling attacked, but you might be wrong... the subject says 99.9% including me!
So we're in this together brothers and sisters... now let's get to life!
To go on with examples, take an artist... some think the best singer in the world was Frank Sinatra, others would say that he wasn't even closer to being the best singer. I used to think Ricky Martin was the best singer in the world, while my best friend would think that he sucked ass. Now, to get even close let's take our opinions of the people around us, some may think that John Doe is a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor, while others may think he is a conceited asshole with no tact. Who's right and who's wrong?
The interesting and tricky thing about perception is that it can change within oneself many, many times. The guy we think is a saint today may seem like the devil the day after. "Wow, I really think that man you introduced me to is educated and wonderful," and a week later the same person may say "That guy you introduced me to that day is a total moron, did you see how he spoke to her?"
Most of us don't know this, but our perception is playing a game with all of us. We would never want to believe this, and of course, this is an article being written by MY PERCEPTION so I could be wrong or right at any given moment depending on the individual and the situation. It is my opinion that there is a .1% of the population that can view things clearly, and it is my opinion that anyone who is passionately interested in perceiving THE TRUTH OF REALITY can cross over to the side of accurate perception. Does that mean that you will be better than others? Absolutely not... it will mean that you know that you DON'T KNOW ANYTHING because you CAN'T KNOW ANYTHING. The people who are in this .1% don't know more than you and me, they know LESS. They don't know what the "right" religion is, they don't know what the "right" fashion is, they don't know what the "truth" is... they know that the individual human mind does NOT have the ability to "KNOW THE TRUTH" of ANYTHING.
Most of us walk around believing that we know who the other is, who God is, what the "right" religion is, what people "should be like," how things actually are. Most of us would deny the possibility of not being absolutely correct about our shallow and deep views. Most of us think that it is not possible that we are wrong about our deep beliefs. Most of us would never even consider that our point of view is relative. Most of us are just looking to be right about everything we believe and we find "proof" anywhere we please. We make ideas in our heads about someone else or some subject and then we wait and collect all the "evidence" that proves that we are "right."
I will write from my perspective -- most of us are not aware of how delusional we can be. Most of us are CONVINCED that we KNOW THE TRUTH and that is simply not the case.
I personally think that a good solution for this is understanding that it is okay to have our individual beliefs and points of view, but to not actually believe that we are exclusively right and that we know better than everyone else. To see oneself as an individual with individual points of view and opinions, which are totally fine, as long as we are not ABSOLUTE about them. When we think that what we believe is the only correct way to see things, that is violence. Others are entitled to their perspectives and remaining open and receptive is the only way to truly be healthy.
If you find yourself saying things like "That's enough, this is stupid, yeah right, you're wrong" or being passive aggressive and sarcastic and not giving others the benefit of the doubt or give them a chance to clarify their points, that means your mind is closed and obviously so is your heart. If you are taking this note personally, that also means that you are concluding that this note must be exclusively about you and you may even be feeling attacked, but you might be wrong... the subject says 99.9% including me!
So we're in this together brothers and sisters... now let's get to life!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
About Loved Ones
God – I feel you are wonderful because you are almighty and all powerful and all everything. You are an awesome and cool mystery that I will never be able to comprehend. The love You emanate is blinding… I just think you are wonderful.
To Mami – You’re wonderful because you’re so different from the rest of people, you don’t comb your hair, you don’t care about make-up, you’re raw, wild, real, spontaneous and strong. You are wonderfully stubborn and intelligent and you’re very loud and charismatic. You’re brassy, sexy, warm, funny. You love to laugh and dance and go on crazy adventures, you’re not clingy, you’re independent, strong and just really good company. You’re an awesome woman.
To Dad – You’re cool because you can get any material thing you set your mind to, you are wowed by simple things, you upgrade your car when you feel like it, always get a new computer, TV, shoes, whatever. The fact that you make so much money makes you cool and that you love your job so much and that you work so hard. It’s cool that you’re not in people’s faces and that you’re shy and low-key. I think it’s cool that you travel by yourself every year to any country you want and you are always thinking of other people. It’s cool how you allow two of your kids to be in gay relationships and you open the doors of your house to allow this. It’s cool that you’re so financially supportive and it’s cool that you like to play computer games, go on the internet and watch TV.
To Fabie – You’re awesome because you left the house at 17 and figured your life out on your own, it’s cool that you have a beautiful son that you obviously adore. It’s cool that you are so strong and beautiful. You’re sweet and fun to be around, it’s cool that you like to go on the computer and watch TV too, it’s cool that you work so hard and it’s cool that you’re doing your own thing. You’re awesome for many reasons, you’re smart, creative and a great friend. You’re awesome because you don’t really need anyone to get ahead and because you just keep on living life and enjoying what you’re into. You’re awesome!
To Benji – I think your passion for cars is pretty awesome. You go nuts when you see a car that you like and you work hard to get it. I think it’s cool how car savvy you are and how you’re athletic and into sports and how you’re also such a good friend. I think it’s cool that you’re into matching your clothes and how you’re into having a good time anywhere you go. I think you’re awesome because you like to laugh a lot and you like to help other people. You are cool because you love Dad so much and it shows, you’re also cool because you love all of your brothers and you’re just awesome. It’s cool that you yell and let go when you get angry and that you are so passionate about everything you get into.
To Aaron – There’s a lot that makes you cool, you’re into fashion, singing, make-up, entertaining, you’re an incredible sales man and you have an incredible knack for meeting people and connecting. Your social skills are awesome, it’s cool that you like good drink and you like to go out and you like to dance and have a good time. That you like eating out, looking good, working out, talking. It’s cool that you give yourself to your boyfriend and how you’re such a cool cat. It’s awesome that you’re into the photography thing, that you like to take pictures and that you’re really sweet and smart. You’re just so much fun to be around, you’re funny and your sense of humor is so easy to enjoy.
To Andre – First of all, you’re awesome because you’re a genius and you have a huge heart and you would do anything for anyone. It’s cool how you live on your own and how you do your own thing and your sense of style and fashion is pretty awesome too. It’s cool how you reinvent your look every couple of months and how you are so tall and skinny and how you have a bunch of friends and all these things you like to do and all these places you like to go to. It’s cool how you have a roommate, how you like videogames and how you’re so nice to hang out with. You’re awesome because you like a good time and because you are smarter than most people.
To Marcelo – There’s a lot that makes you awesome, you love to laugh and have a good time, you’re pleasant and easy to get along with, you don’t think a lot other than enjoying the party and you have a heart of gold. You are loving and it looks like everybody likes you. You play it safe and that’s really awesome and refreshing for me. You are great company, good to be around, you are very supportive and you’re just real and honest. You are not pretentious and you are obviously a very curious soul who loves to learn new things. You are very interested in other people and that’s really nice. You are just an awesome person with a lot of wonderful qualities. You’re so nice to be with. It’s cool that you’re proud of who you are too, that’s awesome!
To Dusty – You’re fabulous because you are so filled with color and excitement and wonder. Because you are creative, playful, spontaneous and funny… you’re like a big kid and you are cool because you are so loving, passionate and committed. You love your mom and dad and your dog and your husband and your friends and you get really excited about living this life. You love to do things, you enjoy stuff and that’s just awesome. You would also give your life for someone you love because you have an enormous loving heart. You are really cool and you’re just so much fun to be with.
To Titi – You’re just so strong and powerful, your presence is like “Here I am” and you take over, you’re super smart, super loving and super on top of things. You are very attentive and you are a ton of fun. You have an awesome sense of humor and you possess a maturity that is very comforting. You work hard, play hard and rest hard. You are awesome, cool and amazing. Your free spirit and your large personality make you a great candidate for so many things. You are awesome, you are cool and you are just really a treasure.
To Irine – Can you say super bright? And super committed to being the best that you can be? You are awesome because you are passionate, ambitious and hard working, you focus on deep things that really matter and you are creative beyond a doubt. Your talent is so much and your sensitivities are so good that it amazes me. You are a great friend and great to talk to and you would do anything for anyone you love. Your laugh is the best and you love to laugh often and you are interesting and mysterious which are such cool qualities to have. You do not gossip, you are non-confrontational and you are awesome.
To Mami – You’re wonderful because you’re so different from the rest of people, you don’t comb your hair, you don’t care about make-up, you’re raw, wild, real, spontaneous and strong. You are wonderfully stubborn and intelligent and you’re very loud and charismatic. You’re brassy, sexy, warm, funny. You love to laugh and dance and go on crazy adventures, you’re not clingy, you’re independent, strong and just really good company. You’re an awesome woman.
To Dad – You’re cool because you can get any material thing you set your mind to, you are wowed by simple things, you upgrade your car when you feel like it, always get a new computer, TV, shoes, whatever. The fact that you make so much money makes you cool and that you love your job so much and that you work so hard. It’s cool that you’re not in people’s faces and that you’re shy and low-key. I think it’s cool that you travel by yourself every year to any country you want and you are always thinking of other people. It’s cool how you allow two of your kids to be in gay relationships and you open the doors of your house to allow this. It’s cool that you’re so financially supportive and it’s cool that you like to play computer games, go on the internet and watch TV.
To Fabie – You’re awesome because you left the house at 17 and figured your life out on your own, it’s cool that you have a beautiful son that you obviously adore. It’s cool that you are so strong and beautiful. You’re sweet and fun to be around, it’s cool that you like to go on the computer and watch TV too, it’s cool that you work so hard and it’s cool that you’re doing your own thing. You’re awesome for many reasons, you’re smart, creative and a great friend. You’re awesome because you don’t really need anyone to get ahead and because you just keep on living life and enjoying what you’re into. You’re awesome!
To Benji – I think your passion for cars is pretty awesome. You go nuts when you see a car that you like and you work hard to get it. I think it’s cool how car savvy you are and how you’re athletic and into sports and how you’re also such a good friend. I think it’s cool that you’re into matching your clothes and how you’re into having a good time anywhere you go. I think you’re awesome because you like to laugh a lot and you like to help other people. You are cool because you love Dad so much and it shows, you’re also cool because you love all of your brothers and you’re just awesome. It’s cool that you yell and let go when you get angry and that you are so passionate about everything you get into.
To Aaron – There’s a lot that makes you cool, you’re into fashion, singing, make-up, entertaining, you’re an incredible sales man and you have an incredible knack for meeting people and connecting. Your social skills are awesome, it’s cool that you like good drink and you like to go out and you like to dance and have a good time. That you like eating out, looking good, working out, talking. It’s cool that you give yourself to your boyfriend and how you’re such a cool cat. It’s awesome that you’re into the photography thing, that you like to take pictures and that you’re really sweet and smart. You’re just so much fun to be around, you’re funny and your sense of humor is so easy to enjoy.
To Andre – First of all, you’re awesome because you’re a genius and you have a huge heart and you would do anything for anyone. It’s cool how you live on your own and how you do your own thing and your sense of style and fashion is pretty awesome too. It’s cool how you reinvent your look every couple of months and how you are so tall and skinny and how you have a bunch of friends and all these things you like to do and all these places you like to go to. It’s cool how you have a roommate, how you like videogames and how you’re so nice to hang out with. You’re awesome because you like a good time and because you are smarter than most people.
To Marcelo – There’s a lot that makes you awesome, you love to laugh and have a good time, you’re pleasant and easy to get along with, you don’t think a lot other than enjoying the party and you have a heart of gold. You are loving and it looks like everybody likes you. You play it safe and that’s really awesome and refreshing for me. You are great company, good to be around, you are very supportive and you’re just real and honest. You are not pretentious and you are obviously a very curious soul who loves to learn new things. You are very interested in other people and that’s really nice. You are just an awesome person with a lot of wonderful qualities. You’re so nice to be with. It’s cool that you’re proud of who you are too, that’s awesome!
To Dusty – You’re fabulous because you are so filled with color and excitement and wonder. Because you are creative, playful, spontaneous and funny… you’re like a big kid and you are cool because you are so loving, passionate and committed. You love your mom and dad and your dog and your husband and your friends and you get really excited about living this life. You love to do things, you enjoy stuff and that’s just awesome. You would also give your life for someone you love because you have an enormous loving heart. You are really cool and you’re just so much fun to be with.
To Titi – You’re just so strong and powerful, your presence is like “Here I am” and you take over, you’re super smart, super loving and super on top of things. You are very attentive and you are a ton of fun. You have an awesome sense of humor and you possess a maturity that is very comforting. You work hard, play hard and rest hard. You are awesome, cool and amazing. Your free spirit and your large personality make you a great candidate for so many things. You are awesome, you are cool and you are just really a treasure.
To Irine – Can you say super bright? And super committed to being the best that you can be? You are awesome because you are passionate, ambitious and hard working, you focus on deep things that really matter and you are creative beyond a doubt. Your talent is so much and your sensitivities are so good that it amazes me. You are a great friend and great to talk to and you would do anything for anyone you love. Your laugh is the best and you love to laugh often and you are interesting and mysterious which are such cool qualities to have. You do not gossip, you are non-confrontational and you are awesome.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Reflections for the New Year
For most of us, reality can be a very scary thing. There is so much that needs to be done in this life, taking care of ourselves, paying the bills, taking the trash out and all the rest. Life isn’t always easy; there are a lot of things that we would love to skip: the dreaded dental appointments, the dreaded job and the dreaded chores. No wonder we love a good movie, a good book, a good vacation. Escape and distraction seem like our greatest friends many times. Few of us want to face the reality of taking full responsibility.
The irony is that we are sold stories of the possibility of a type of happiness that is supposedly permanent. This is where it’s important to remember the common saying that points to a flaw in the human psyche: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”
It is so tempting to fall for the trap of believing that other human beings have it a lot better than we do. We fall for believing that those with fame and riches have it a lot better than we do, but with just a little investigation and deeper analysis we can see that this is simply not so. The examples of individuals with fame, money and power who are not happier than you and I are many, in fact, it is not even necessary or important to list them, look and find out for yourself. Check out any magazine or newspaper and you will find that the stories of extremely unhappy celebrities are not lacking.
Sure money, power and recognition are nice, they can certainly be a big part of an individual’s happiness, but such things do not guarantee happiness.
Happiness, if such a thing even exists, is a state of balance and equilibrium, it is a sense of maturity and clarity that can only be achieved when our heads and hearts are working together. Our outer lives are an expression of what is inside of us, which is why most of the work we need to do is internal.
What do I really, really want should be the question. As simple as it might seem, if we take this question to profound depths we will find that it is a lot more involving than we might think. I am sure, most if not all of us, will say money. And sure, money can bring about a lot of goodies and a lot of order – but what do we want the money for?
To get money, I am sure most of us know, we have to work hard. It’s the way the world has been set up, unless you are one of those extremely rare cases that come by it in an easy way. But even that ease has a price. Easy comes, easy goes they say – and as much as we might like things that we want coming easy, we hate things leaving easy.
In the world everything operates in duality: there is night and day, black and white, happy and sad, good and bad, right and wrong, simple and complicated, sick and healthy, alive and dead. Everything is subject to the law of relativity and duality, laws are laws.
No matter how much we want to hold on to any one side of duality, the other side is around the corner. Today’s wonderful marriage can easily turn into tomorrow’s sour divorce, today’s wonderful accomplishment may turn into tomorrow’s horrible failure. I do not say these things to be negative, I say them to be realistic, again consult your nearest magazine or newspaper and you will see what I am talking about.
Whether we like it or not there is an order to life. Cycles of birth and death are realities. A dependent child will eventually have to become an independent adult, and whether we cling to the past or not, time does what it does with all of us and with everything. Resisting the ongoing movement of life is futile. We are all moving forward with life. As a blade of grass grows outside so do we, and growth need not be seen as something scary or bad.
I will speak for myself when I say that I have been clinging to the past and growing really slowly, but the reality is that time doesn’t forgive any of us. Time will turn our young, beautiful, healthy and strong bodies into old, weaker and less capable people. This is why youth is not to be taken for granted. Ask either of your grandparents if you’re lucky enough to still have them around.
I always get the same advice from elderly people: don’t take you life for granted, enjoy your life responsibly.
It’s not that old age is a bad thing, as far as I’m concerned the collection of experiences and the wisdom gained are beautiful things, the integrated phase of resting and being less active to rest for all the years of hard work is a beautiful thing, and the legacy one leaves behind as the years pass is something that is wonderful.
If it wasn’t for my grandparents, I wouldn’t be here writing… and if it wasn’t for me, all the things that I have created would have not been on earth. I have created many things, both good and bad, like all of us. I have written many wonderful articles, inspired many people and worked in a lot of different capacities, all the work that I have done has created an impact. The times that I have been an asshole have left a crappy mess and the times that I’ve been an angel have left a beautiful trail of love and positive growth.
Sure I am only twenty-six, but if I am lucky, one day I will be eighty and all of the things that I have done so far will go on my life resume. What do you want your life resume to look like?
Life, whether we are ready to see it or not is a wonderful gift, it is a wonderful bag of opportunities. The greatest gift we have is the gift of choice, the gift of free will. What do you want to do with your free will? What do you want to build or destroy with it? Some things are worth building and some things are worth destroying. Love, selflessness, care, education, art and help are worth building while hate, envy, greed, ignorance and egocentrism are worth destroying.
Abraham Lincoln with the help of many helped to destroy the institution of slavery; this was a destruction that was worthwhile. You and I can destroy the institutions of fear, doubt, cynicism and despair within us. As we do that we are more and more free to choose to build the life we want for ourselves: a healthy body, a nice income, a beautiful home and family and a wonderful life. We can move on and take this gift of life as a precious possession that we are blessed to have.
These tasks may not be easy, but they are worthwhile, and just as easy comes easy goes, what comes about difficultly will go away difficultly. We can all build a life that we are proud of, we can all face our fears and overcome them, we can all be all that we are, if we are just willing.
May the year 2011 inspire you to heed the advice of the elders: to not take life and youth for granted and to enjoy life responsibly! All the best to all of you!
The irony is that we are sold stories of the possibility of a type of happiness that is supposedly permanent. This is where it’s important to remember the common saying that points to a flaw in the human psyche: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”
It is so tempting to fall for the trap of believing that other human beings have it a lot better than we do. We fall for believing that those with fame and riches have it a lot better than we do, but with just a little investigation and deeper analysis we can see that this is simply not so. The examples of individuals with fame, money and power who are not happier than you and I are many, in fact, it is not even necessary or important to list them, look and find out for yourself. Check out any magazine or newspaper and you will find that the stories of extremely unhappy celebrities are not lacking.
Sure money, power and recognition are nice, they can certainly be a big part of an individual’s happiness, but such things do not guarantee happiness.
Happiness, if such a thing even exists, is a state of balance and equilibrium, it is a sense of maturity and clarity that can only be achieved when our heads and hearts are working together. Our outer lives are an expression of what is inside of us, which is why most of the work we need to do is internal.
What do I really, really want should be the question. As simple as it might seem, if we take this question to profound depths we will find that it is a lot more involving than we might think. I am sure, most if not all of us, will say money. And sure, money can bring about a lot of goodies and a lot of order – but what do we want the money for?
To get money, I am sure most of us know, we have to work hard. It’s the way the world has been set up, unless you are one of those extremely rare cases that come by it in an easy way. But even that ease has a price. Easy comes, easy goes they say – and as much as we might like things that we want coming easy, we hate things leaving easy.
In the world everything operates in duality: there is night and day, black and white, happy and sad, good and bad, right and wrong, simple and complicated, sick and healthy, alive and dead. Everything is subject to the law of relativity and duality, laws are laws.
No matter how much we want to hold on to any one side of duality, the other side is around the corner. Today’s wonderful marriage can easily turn into tomorrow’s sour divorce, today’s wonderful accomplishment may turn into tomorrow’s horrible failure. I do not say these things to be negative, I say them to be realistic, again consult your nearest magazine or newspaper and you will see what I am talking about.
Whether we like it or not there is an order to life. Cycles of birth and death are realities. A dependent child will eventually have to become an independent adult, and whether we cling to the past or not, time does what it does with all of us and with everything. Resisting the ongoing movement of life is futile. We are all moving forward with life. As a blade of grass grows outside so do we, and growth need not be seen as something scary or bad.
I will speak for myself when I say that I have been clinging to the past and growing really slowly, but the reality is that time doesn’t forgive any of us. Time will turn our young, beautiful, healthy and strong bodies into old, weaker and less capable people. This is why youth is not to be taken for granted. Ask either of your grandparents if you’re lucky enough to still have them around.
I always get the same advice from elderly people: don’t take you life for granted, enjoy your life responsibly.
It’s not that old age is a bad thing, as far as I’m concerned the collection of experiences and the wisdom gained are beautiful things, the integrated phase of resting and being less active to rest for all the years of hard work is a beautiful thing, and the legacy one leaves behind as the years pass is something that is wonderful.
If it wasn’t for my grandparents, I wouldn’t be here writing… and if it wasn’t for me, all the things that I have created would have not been on earth. I have created many things, both good and bad, like all of us. I have written many wonderful articles, inspired many people and worked in a lot of different capacities, all the work that I have done has created an impact. The times that I have been an asshole have left a crappy mess and the times that I’ve been an angel have left a beautiful trail of love and positive growth.
Sure I am only twenty-six, but if I am lucky, one day I will be eighty and all of the things that I have done so far will go on my life resume. What do you want your life resume to look like?
Life, whether we are ready to see it or not is a wonderful gift, it is a wonderful bag of opportunities. The greatest gift we have is the gift of choice, the gift of free will. What do you want to do with your free will? What do you want to build or destroy with it? Some things are worth building and some things are worth destroying. Love, selflessness, care, education, art and help are worth building while hate, envy, greed, ignorance and egocentrism are worth destroying.
Abraham Lincoln with the help of many helped to destroy the institution of slavery; this was a destruction that was worthwhile. You and I can destroy the institutions of fear, doubt, cynicism and despair within us. As we do that we are more and more free to choose to build the life we want for ourselves: a healthy body, a nice income, a beautiful home and family and a wonderful life. We can move on and take this gift of life as a precious possession that we are blessed to have.
These tasks may not be easy, but they are worthwhile, and just as easy comes easy goes, what comes about difficultly will go away difficultly. We can all build a life that we are proud of, we can all face our fears and overcome them, we can all be all that we are, if we are just willing.
May the year 2011 inspire you to heed the advice of the elders: to not take life and youth for granted and to enjoy life responsibly! All the best to all of you!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
THANK YOU: more and more and more gratitude
A Multidimensional Thank You from the bottom, the middle and the top of my Whole Heart:
To God - for being the Almighty, the Highest. For being everywhere at all times, for being unconditional, infinite and eternal with all Your love. For being humble, fierce and the most amazing and unconditionally loving Mystery. Wow!
To my Higher Self - for being able to recognize what really is important, for being there every instant of my existence, for being so bright, creative, bold, brave, intelligent, fresh, strong and radical. For never giving up, for never settling for less than the whole truth, for not allowing me to be at peace until I get it, for being my greatest teacher, my greatest sword.
To Mami - for giving birth to me and being crazy and wonderful, for breastfeeding me, bathing me, changing my diapers, clothing me and putting up with my incessant physical, emotional and mental hunger!
To Dad - for financially supporting me, for caring for me, for loving me. For never giving up on me and for continuing to love me.
To Fabie - for being so beautiful and sweet and strong, for inspiring me without intending to.
To Benji - for being my older brother and playing that part so well. For growing with me and for trusting me.
To Aaron - for being such a wonderful young brother who would follow me anywhere I would go. For trusting me so much, for always being beside me, for challenging me and being so damn cool.
To Andre - for being so tough and sweet, for challenging my understanding, for the willingness to argue and test my limits, for being so damn smart and strong. I love you.
To Marcelo - for being a great mirror for me to look at myself into, for coming at a perfect time in my life and for supporting me and listening to me more than I thought was possible. For believing in me. I love you.
To Dusty - for being a real woman, for being relentless in your care for me, for nourishing me on all levels, for being a timeless friend.
To Titi - for being the best friend anybody could ever ask for, for having such an amazing soul, for having so much spark, zest, strength and wonder.
To Irine - for being the greatest pen pal ever, for having so much to offer, for teaching me so much.
To Noah - for being such a cool dog.
To Mark - for being mature, gentle, honest, helpful and challenging.
To Adya - for being so real, so true, so natural, so awake, so good.
To All People - for making the world such an interesting place, for challenging my understanding, for motivating me to grow, for pushing me into grace and gratitude.
I am eternally grateful and feel eternally graced. I feel grateful for anyone who reads this and anyone who doesn't. I have accomplished my mission of understanding the basics and look forward to deepen into this understanding. No one is out of my list of gratitude, for all have directly or indirectly contributed to my growth.
Thank You! -- I Love You!
To God - for being the Almighty, the Highest. For being everywhere at all times, for being unconditional, infinite and eternal with all Your love. For being humble, fierce and the most amazing and unconditionally loving Mystery. Wow!
To my Higher Self - for being able to recognize what really is important, for being there every instant of my existence, for being so bright, creative, bold, brave, intelligent, fresh, strong and radical. For never giving up, for never settling for less than the whole truth, for not allowing me to be at peace until I get it, for being my greatest teacher, my greatest sword.
To Mami - for giving birth to me and being crazy and wonderful, for breastfeeding me, bathing me, changing my diapers, clothing me and putting up with my incessant physical, emotional and mental hunger!
To Dad - for financially supporting me, for caring for me, for loving me. For never giving up on me and for continuing to love me.
To Fabie - for being so beautiful and sweet and strong, for inspiring me without intending to.
To Benji - for being my older brother and playing that part so well. For growing with me and for trusting me.
To Aaron - for being such a wonderful young brother who would follow me anywhere I would go. For trusting me so much, for always being beside me, for challenging me and being so damn cool.
To Andre - for being so tough and sweet, for challenging my understanding, for the willingness to argue and test my limits, for being so damn smart and strong. I love you.
To Marcelo - for being a great mirror for me to look at myself into, for coming at a perfect time in my life and for supporting me and listening to me more than I thought was possible. For believing in me. I love you.
To Dusty - for being a real woman, for being relentless in your care for me, for nourishing me on all levels, for being a timeless friend.
To Titi - for being the best friend anybody could ever ask for, for having such an amazing soul, for having so much spark, zest, strength and wonder.
To Irine - for being the greatest pen pal ever, for having so much to offer, for teaching me so much.
To Noah - for being such a cool dog.
To Mark - for being mature, gentle, honest, helpful and challenging.
To Adya - for being so real, so true, so natural, so awake, so good.
To All People - for making the world such an interesting place, for challenging my understanding, for motivating me to grow, for pushing me into grace and gratitude.
I am eternally grateful and feel eternally graced. I feel grateful for anyone who reads this and anyone who doesn't. I have accomplished my mission of understanding the basics and look forward to deepen into this understanding. No one is out of my list of gratitude, for all have directly or indirectly contributed to my growth.
Thank You! -- I Love You!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Why We Need Guides
If we're honest and quiet down a bit, it's not so hard to see that life is quite simple. Sure, this is a seeing that can easily be lost in a world that has gotten increasingly influenced by a variety of imposed conflicting ideas and structures.
Take for example what I just wrote, if you're simple and quiet you will not be wondering what I just wrote meant, it's not even a matter of being smart, bright or special, it's a matter of being relaxed and at ease.
To aid in restoring this ease and relaxation most of us will need guidance. Life is ultimately about balance and as we know, it is easy to lose our balance in the midst of the complexity of all the influences out there. A few religions is not enough, so we have thousands of them, a few diet plans are not enough, so we have thousands of them, a few general lifestyle paths are not enough, so we have thousands of them, a few countries are not enough, so we have hundreds of them, a few languages are not enough, so we have thousands... and on and on it goes.
Now, don't go jumping to conclusions, I am not suggesting that anything be different than it is, as far as I am concerned this vast variety is both inevitable and necessary. It is also what can make life so rich and wonderful. The problems come when there is conflict. Diversity is never a problem. It's conflict that can ruin the party. So it's okay to have different languages, cultures and countries -- it's the conflict that we want to mitigate and learn to resolve skillfuly. The point of a guide is to gently take you and me back to the simplicity of life so that you and I can become aware and grounded in the common source of all things. This way, you and I can see what is the same within what externally appears as different. This can lead to a natural and spontaneous dropping of any conflict within our maybe confused and conflicted internal system.
Once our system isn't confused anymore we are free to be what we are without conflict, without competition and without fear. And once this is accomplished, we can really start unleashing our true potential as a human beings in whatever areas we are drawn to excel at. Once balance is restored, our lives can be highly efficient and productive in a true sense. All our false senses of ability or false senses of accomplishment can disappear and we might be able to switch from just survival mode, to survival and celebration mode. And for that, we need guidance. Why? Because we have been thrown a million different things from a million different perspectives and we have been exposed a ton of apparently contradictory information and advice. We have been pushed and pulled and thrown out of balance in general. And just like our imbalance came from a bunch of differing and complex external guides, we need clear and simple external guides to help us regain our balance and find our way again.
Chances are, it will take a lot more than one guide to guide us back, it will likely take us many -- and if we know what to look for, we can learn from anyone or anything how to find our sanity, and balance again and find our way back to clarity and simplicity. All we need is to be sufficiently tired of the confusion and conflict that has been living in us and use that as fuel to develop a genuine intention to get clear and free -- after that, the guides come all by themselves... and we boy do need them!
Take for example what I just wrote, if you're simple and quiet you will not be wondering what I just wrote meant, it's not even a matter of being smart, bright or special, it's a matter of being relaxed and at ease.
To aid in restoring this ease and relaxation most of us will need guidance. Life is ultimately about balance and as we know, it is easy to lose our balance in the midst of the complexity of all the influences out there. A few religions is not enough, so we have thousands of them, a few diet plans are not enough, so we have thousands of them, a few general lifestyle paths are not enough, so we have thousands of them, a few countries are not enough, so we have hundreds of them, a few languages are not enough, so we have thousands... and on and on it goes.
Now, don't go jumping to conclusions, I am not suggesting that anything be different than it is, as far as I am concerned this vast variety is both inevitable and necessary. It is also what can make life so rich and wonderful. The problems come when there is conflict. Diversity is never a problem. It's conflict that can ruin the party. So it's okay to have different languages, cultures and countries -- it's the conflict that we want to mitigate and learn to resolve skillfuly. The point of a guide is to gently take you and me back to the simplicity of life so that you and I can become aware and grounded in the common source of all things. This way, you and I can see what is the same within what externally appears as different. This can lead to a natural and spontaneous dropping of any conflict within our maybe confused and conflicted internal system.
Once our system isn't confused anymore we are free to be what we are without conflict, without competition and without fear. And once this is accomplished, we can really start unleashing our true potential as a human beings in whatever areas we are drawn to excel at. Once balance is restored, our lives can be highly efficient and productive in a true sense. All our false senses of ability or false senses of accomplishment can disappear and we might be able to switch from just survival mode, to survival and celebration mode. And for that, we need guidance. Why? Because we have been thrown a million different things from a million different perspectives and we have been exposed a ton of apparently contradictory information and advice. We have been pushed and pulled and thrown out of balance in general. And just like our imbalance came from a bunch of differing and complex external guides, we need clear and simple external guides to help us regain our balance and find our way again.
Chances are, it will take a lot more than one guide to guide us back, it will likely take us many -- and if we know what to look for, we can learn from anyone or anything how to find our sanity, and balance again and find our way back to clarity and simplicity. All we need is to be sufficiently tired of the confusion and conflict that has been living in us and use that as fuel to develop a genuine intention to get clear and free -- after that, the guides come all by themselves... and we boy do need them!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Back Again
I never wanted to write something that revolved only around me again. There was such a great comfort in writing in "we" terms. That way I wasn't alone and I would be in the company of the rest of humanity. I was doing that as an excuse. I was saying "we are all messed up" because I didn't want to come face to face with "I am messed up."
It's unbelievable, I feel embarrassed about writing like a normal human being, I wanted to be this spiritual master that knew everything. My perfectionism reached its scariest limits when I decided to write a horrific message to a person that I love more than I can understand. I don't know why I love who I love how I love, but I do know that it has nothing to do with anything in this world. If the love was worldly, I would never be able to experience it for too long, I would always find people who are in a better worldly situation. True love is out of this world and out of the realm of reason and understanding. This is why we can't understand it and why it's so easy to doubt it so much. "Why would he or she love me?" we ask... the answer doesn't exist within the realm of the mind. It's true, on the worldly level there is always someone better than you and me, it's true, you and I are never going to be enough.
Reading the memoirs of Ricky Martin showed me that no matter how much we accomplish and how "far" we get in the world, what matters is something else. Living with a fairly accomplished father and seeing the emptiness of the American Dream accomplishment I realize that although it's really nice, and it has many benefits and I still want it, that's not where the real seed of happiness is.
I have been an ambitious and extreme perfectionist all my life. There is a part of me, that even though I love it and care for it, is a little devil -- I no longer mean that in a hateful way though, I mean it in a sweet, objective and truthful way. I don't judge myself as harshly as I used to. I have this beautiful customer at work that has two kids -- one she calls her little angel and the other she calls her little devil -- when I heard this, I instantly panicked and wanted to jump in to rescue the one that was being called little devil -- but I stopped myself and decided to look more closely. She meant it in a loving and beautiful way, she meant it with love, acceptance and compassion. Her eyes still shined with love as she gazed at this "devil," her touch was soft and gentle as she would ask for a kiss. She smiled as she called her that. Obviously this mom does not believe there is a fundamental difference between her angel and devil, she treated them both with the same amount of love.
Now I see that I can recognize that I can be a little devil, and I can be loving and compassionate with myself. I don't have to yell at myself inside and beat myself up.
I am becoming ever more deeply liberated from the tyranny of my own head. I am gradually seeing more and more things that I never thought I would let myself see about myself: how controlling I am, how judgmental, how addicted to attention I am, how insecure I am, how fake I am, how harsh I am, how addicted to being perceived as powerful and perfect I am, how I take advantage of people (especially my father), how much compassion I lack.
It hurts me, but in a good way, it is all leading me to innocence.
I always write about how I forgive everybody that ever did harm to me, but the truth is I realize that I need to ask forgiveness of all of those who I have harmed, which have been many. I have been rude, crass, tactless and harsh. I have been an asshole on many occasions, I have been really hard on people, just as hard as I have been on myself.
This is to the world, to the universe, to the entire Body of God: I am sorry.
It's unbelievable, I feel embarrassed about writing like a normal human being, I wanted to be this spiritual master that knew everything. My perfectionism reached its scariest limits when I decided to write a horrific message to a person that I love more than I can understand. I don't know why I love who I love how I love, but I do know that it has nothing to do with anything in this world. If the love was worldly, I would never be able to experience it for too long, I would always find people who are in a better worldly situation. True love is out of this world and out of the realm of reason and understanding. This is why we can't understand it and why it's so easy to doubt it so much. "Why would he or she love me?" we ask... the answer doesn't exist within the realm of the mind. It's true, on the worldly level there is always someone better than you and me, it's true, you and I are never going to be enough.
Reading the memoirs of Ricky Martin showed me that no matter how much we accomplish and how "far" we get in the world, what matters is something else. Living with a fairly accomplished father and seeing the emptiness of the American Dream accomplishment I realize that although it's really nice, and it has many benefits and I still want it, that's not where the real seed of happiness is.
I have been an ambitious and extreme perfectionist all my life. There is a part of me, that even though I love it and care for it, is a little devil -- I no longer mean that in a hateful way though, I mean it in a sweet, objective and truthful way. I don't judge myself as harshly as I used to. I have this beautiful customer at work that has two kids -- one she calls her little angel and the other she calls her little devil -- when I heard this, I instantly panicked and wanted to jump in to rescue the one that was being called little devil -- but I stopped myself and decided to look more closely. She meant it in a loving and beautiful way, she meant it with love, acceptance and compassion. Her eyes still shined with love as she gazed at this "devil," her touch was soft and gentle as she would ask for a kiss. She smiled as she called her that. Obviously this mom does not believe there is a fundamental difference between her angel and devil, she treated them both with the same amount of love.
Now I see that I can recognize that I can be a little devil, and I can be loving and compassionate with myself. I don't have to yell at myself inside and beat myself up.
I am becoming ever more deeply liberated from the tyranny of my own head. I am gradually seeing more and more things that I never thought I would let myself see about myself: how controlling I am, how judgmental, how addicted to attention I am, how insecure I am, how fake I am, how harsh I am, how addicted to being perceived as powerful and perfect I am, how I take advantage of people (especially my father), how much compassion I lack.
It hurts me, but in a good way, it is all leading me to innocence.
I always write about how I forgive everybody that ever did harm to me, but the truth is I realize that I need to ask forgiveness of all of those who I have harmed, which have been many. I have been rude, crass, tactless and harsh. I have been an asshole on many occasions, I have been really hard on people, just as hard as I have been on myself.
This is to the world, to the universe, to the entire Body of God: I am sorry.
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