Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Waking up is growing up.

Abandoning magical thinking, seeing through delusions. Seeing reality without a rigid filter. Learning how life works. Facing fears and seeing them for what they are - imaginary unquestioned assumptions that create unpleasant sensations. Letting go of our deep rigid ideas and conclusions about life - including our parents and world. Dropping into the body and ending the codependent sick relationship with the mind. Living from and as something that is not ego, but rather a field of possibilities and love. Quitting the ego dreams, promises and illusions. Outgrowing the cookie-cutter social standards. Being in the world but not of it. No longer being afraid of the Wizard of Oz. Walking through the imaginary fire that swears it will consume us but only ends up consuming our ego. Not pushing ego away or trying to get rid of it. Accepting the human. Accepting life, sickness and death. Embracing the totality. Being humbled beyond the point that the separate self wants to, no longer being a me.

This is all waking up. All growing up.

No drama. No emotion. No bullshit.

Just acceptance.

No fake bliss. No fake joy. No fake nothing.

Just reality. Just what is.

No posing, faking, lying.

Just honesty. Just truth.

No fascinating stories. No outlandish beliefs. No crazy rides into the stratosphere.

Just here. Just now. Just this.

No more chasing. No more addiction. No more craving, hoping and longing.

Just right here, right now and that's it.

It's not great, it's not terrible it's not nothing, it's not everything. It's just breathing and being simply alive. No digging, no reaching, no greed. Just plain and simply awareness and life.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

What Happened When I Quit

We're seldom, if ever, taught about the benefits of NOT doing something. My experience is that we're often taught in a way that goes more like this: do more of this and you'll get that. It works out for commerce, it works out for capitalism, it works out for the economy.

When was the last time you heard do less of this, refrain yourself from doing that? In church, you say? Yes - but you heard it in a context mired with guilt and shame. All from a fear-based standpoint - not from a loving place. Kind of reminds you of your parents - doesn't it? Haha.

All joking aside, the whole point of this entry is for me to share a bit of what happened when I abstained/quit/refrained/diminished/eliminated the following behaviors.

What happened months after I quit (after the horrible withdrawal)...

Smoking cigarettes - food tasted better, my breathing and breath improved. My skin smelled and looked better, I felt less depressed and more connected and alive.

Sugar - food tasted better, life became more enjoyable and colorful. I became more present and aware of my feelings and emotions. I would get satisfied more quickly with food.

Social media - life became more "real." I became more real. I no longer had a "hungry ghost" feeling about me. My spiritual practice became richer, deeper and fuller. I started to connect more with people. I felt more alive, energetic, passionate and skilled in practical matters. All areas of my life improved. I was no longer "half" there. I became a better friend, brother, son and teacher. I had more time for what I love.

Porn - my sex life with mi fiancé became richer and more intimate. After about two months masturbation became richer, a more connected and healing and spiritual self-loving experience.

Worrying - way less stress, way more enjoyment, better life.

More on all of this later :-) Bye for now.