Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Beautiful World

As a wise spiritual teacher, whose name I can’t recall said: "We are not grateful because we are happy, we are happy because we are grateful."

I want to express my deep gratitude for the beautiful path I was given by the Almighty God.

I feel truly blessed to have a beautiful life. I thank God for my beautiful father Paul Weiner and my electric and beautiful mother Angela Jáquez. I thank life for my grandmothers Olga Jáquez and Mildred Weiner. I thank life for having given me four beautiful, amazing and incredible siblings: Fannette Guillen, Benjamin Weiner, Aaron Jáquez and Andres Weiner. The blessing I feel for having had all of you is beyond description. I feel a deep well of infinite gratitude for each and every one of you.

My amazing friends Susana Domínguez, Jennifer Cabrera, Pedro Núñez, Victoria Reyes, Dante Sample, Leonardo Dominguez, Irine Pilavski, Mark Baxter, Eridona Fida, Freddy Fortoso, Víctor Gómez, Mita Prakash, Daniel Forster, Johnny Martínez, Phil Bonacchi, Lindsay Majewski among many others, too many to mention. My sense of gratitude, joy and belonging is magnified whenever I think of any of you.

My vocal students, your trust and belief in me humble me beyond what your imaginations are capable of formulating.

My every day students from my fantastic job: your sweet, innocent and pure faces light my day and ignite my soul brighter than the sun even could.

Speaking of the sun, thank you for illuminating our days, I love your rays and I love your power, the moon as well, for being there to stabilize and regulate the cycles of life on earth. As you know moon, I have a bizarre love affair with you. You make me crazy and sane and creative and destructive. I love you for giving me rhythm and flow.

My amazing jobs, for giving me a sense of purpose and direction in life, for giving me a reason to get up and exercise my gifts and talents and make money while I am at it.

My apartment, my car, my clothes, my computer, my stuff: Although supposedly lifeless, you support my life and make it so much better than it would be without you.

I feel so touched, so loved, so embraced, so whole, so in touch, so loving and so embracing.

My spiritual teacher Adyashanti: you know when to take me and when to leave me. Thank you for no longer taking my calls when you knew I was ready to fly on my own. I’m ready. Thank you for never shutting up. I love you.

I would like to especially thank a man by the name of Marcelo Dotel whose curiosity and skepticism have provided me with the greatest mirrors of all. For this, I will always be grateful. Thank you for showing me what I could have never seen on my own. I am excited to see you grow and progress along with me.

I must thank above all, my soul: for being such a humble and wise student of what is. For never betraying me and always forgiving me. For being relentlessly passionate about what truly matters and what is important. I feel honored to serve the sincerity of my heart. I will forever be imbued with a sense of thankfulness, gratitude, humility and passion for being what I am.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you from the depths of my heart and beyond. My gratitude is immeasurable. My trust for the unknown has become much greater than my trust in the known and for that, I am free.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Life Vs. Facebook

I don't know about you, but I have over 500 friends. All I do is hike mountains, party, eat delicious meals, go on amazing vacations, visit my family, go to beautiful towns, have amazing times with my friends, enjoy the most awesome life with my boyfriend and live it all the way up. I am a wise guru with always something usually so intelligent, universal and deep that it's mind-blowing. I am perfectly mature and many times very angry at the whole of humanity. Sometimes I'm very funny or sometimes I'm just straight up interesting and cool. I sing, dance and make charming videos displaying all the fun and joy that I am always experiencing. People leave me loving and supportive comments, they tell me what a great person I am and how much they love me. I'm also a heartthrob, I get people hitting on me or telling me how much they adore me through messages. I'm just living the grand Facebook life.

Others may ALWAYS be bored or angry or tired, always going through some trouble, needing help, wanting attention, etc. Some are just always so excited about something in the future, others are just so hurt by the past. Some are just these thriving superstars who are the center of attention. Others are the funny jokesters, drama queens, millionaires, party-animals, hard workers, bodybuilders, sexy beasts, etc.

What is your Facebook saying about you?

Whatever it is, it shares one thing with real life... you can present yourself however you want... or should I say however you think you should.

It's cool in one way and sad in another in the sense that many of us portray an image of ourselves that is inconsistent with reality all because we are afraid of not being accepted if we show who we really are. In fact, we think it's smart to put on a show to catch our prey. The story we tell ourselves is that lying and pretending to be something we are not is okay, because that is who we really are deep down and eventually it will all become true.

Of course, that's not the point of this note though. The point is to make an attempt to expand the mind of the reader as always. To open your eyes in the direction of reality.

Facebook is a bunch of fragments of reality. It's the capturing of MOMENTS in life. Whether it's an event, a mood, a thought, a feeling, whatever. It's very tiny PIECES of symbols that are supposed to represent reality. Many times they're not really representing reality but our illusions or delusions about it.

People in this culture are dishonest enough with themselves without Facebook - give them Facebook and they will outpicture their delusions and illusions sooner than you can say cheese.

There are all these delusional "super models," "super stars," "historical figures," "amazing humans," "make-up artists," "singers," "actors," "kings," "queens," you name it!

There are all these "cool people" with huge personalities and they're so cool and collected. Their lives are so under control and everything is just so magical and perfect. And there is also the other extreme of the deluded "always feeling shitty about life, bored and grumpy." As if either extreme was real.

Here I go: I don't buy your stories of ultimate happiness and I don't buy your stories of ultimate misery. That's not reality. In real life, no one is always happy and no one is always bored. They are both shows. In real life nobody is always at a party and nobody is always smiling. Just like in real life no one is always bored in their room and nobody is always sad and crying.

My hope is that this note can help you see that you are way more than a fixed idea. That you are way more than a persona or an image. That life is way more than Facebook and that all those magazine articles, TV shows and virtual information are incredibly fragmented.

I love when in an interview with Charlie Sheen he is confronted about having been abusive to one of the prostitutes he was sleeping with. He said something like "They don't know me, they're fools. They weren't there, they had no idea what really happened. I feel bad for a person who believes in the media."

This is not only true of people who believe the bad stuff they say about somebody via fragmented pieces of information, but also true about the great and amazing stuff they say about people. Trust me, I know this one for sure... without you knowing, that "amazing incredible human being" you just read about is an immature, self-centered and narcissistic asshole with no grip on reality. Truth is very scarce not only in the our daily social lives, but even more in the media. Don't believe everything you read - exaggerating, lying and sensationalizing are very easy to do. I know, I've done it many times, as have you, so you know.

The people that make me the most sad are the people who buy their own press. The more I notice the illusions the more turned off I get and the less impressed I am by superficial things and accomplishments. People with the greatest sense of fashion and the greatest sense of creating a perfect illusion are such turn-offs. I guess it's the ultimate booby prize of seeing through all of this stuff and maturing some. I've been a pro at selling myself as well, except it never worked too well because my honesty always blew things for me. I always give away my secrets and always end up confessing my lies. I guess nature just made me that way.

In fact, I want to tell you and encourage you to not believe any of the stuff you see on my Facebook. I may have meant something in the moment I wrote it, but once a few minutes have passed I might have changed my mind. Don't believe the story my pictures tell you, because for the most part they say very little about me. Don't buy this article, because I will probably have forgotten that I even wrote it by the time you ask me about it... it happens to me all the time.

Life is too big to cram it into Facebook... so is a personality, a relationship, a family, a soul, a body, a mind. The amount of truth to be found in Facebook is very close to zero. And the same is true for show business. I learned the hard way... and it hurt a lot. Consider yourself warned... life is not what you think it is... it's way more.

PS - By the way... In reality I have less than 10 friends, I have hiked very little, I don't party much at all, the food I eat is usually good, but I usually have to cook it myself. My vacations are not always amazing, I don't really have all that many amazing times, my life is plain, my relationship with my boyfriend has highs and lows, I am far from being a wise guru, I am definitely not perfectly mature (haha), I like to pretend like I'm angry to be cool, but I'm not really that angry, I'm a sensitive cry-baby, people don't always show their love in a nice way to me that much, in fact... that's not even close to true, and I'm just living an ordinary, simple life. Like you are - no matter how much you try to cover it up.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Fear of Intimacy

It is hard to be intimate without having to feel our emotions. Intimacy implies closeness and vulnerability. Sadly most of us are unable to have intimacy without sex. This is where most of our sexual issues come from. Intimacy without sex is lame for us. What's the point of being close, being affectionate toward one another if it's not for sex?

Sadly, we deny ourselves the fullness of multidimensional affection and it becomes impossible for us to share intimacy without getting it mixed up with sex. This, to me, is the crux of sexual issues. We have associated affection with sex. This is why many of us assume that if there is any kind of intimacy between any two human beings, that must mean they are fucking each other.

It's funny, I've had people tell me that they know I have sex with my brother! All because we share a level of intimacy that most would envy. Of course I don't have sex with my brother! Of course I don't have sex with all the people that I am affectionate and intimate with! I just don't fear intimacy or affection and I don't have them mixed up with sex!

Don't you ever long to just cuddle? Or have your hair played with? Or be hugged or kissed? Or to sleep in the same bed as someone else? All independent from sex? Of course you do! It's human nature! We love intimacy and closeness. We love close friendships and close relationships. We love affection, intimacy and love. The thing is that since we have most of all of it linked up with sex and since sex is such a bad and evil dirty thing... then yuck!

The other thing is that intimacy is associated with vulnerability and being a loser. Tears of joy or tears of sorrow are such a close and intimate thing... and this too we fear. I am not suggesting we open up to the whole planet and let our closest and deepest emotions flower in the midst of any situation. I am merely suggesting, that perhaps there are times and moments when it is okay to allow ourselves to be intimate with one another.

Why do you think women love gay men so much? In many cases, it has to do with the ability of being intimate without the lust or sex factor. Women crave that! That is why they cling so much to their babies... because a baby can provide a level of intimacy and affection completely disconnected from sex.

I think a lot of sexual issues can come from linking innocence, intimacy, affection and closeness with sex all the time. We are in times when if we say somebody is very attractive or has a great body, that automatically must mean we want to fuck them. If we say we have great chemistry with someone that must mean that we want to have sex with them. We are living in times when if our Karate instructor is attractive and comes to physically adjust our body position we feel uncomfortable because we cannot disconnect intimacy from sex. This is a pathology and I know it all too well because I was a sex addict back in the college days.

I was longing for intimacy, affection, connection, acceptance and love - and the only way to experience a little bit of it was through feeling like I was being tended by someone outside of me that was into me. I had no separation and no ability to unlink intimacy from sex. There was a point in my life where I looked at my phone directory and I had had sexual contact with every single person on the list. I could not have a friendship or a relationship with any level of intimacy that did not lead to sex. In a way it was pure HELL. I was skipping over what I truly wanted - connection, relationship, bonding and sanity. Sadly it became a downward spiral of lack of self-worth, lack of integrity, lack of dignity, lack of honesty and lack of life. Lust became my master and it was the only thing that could make me feel alive. My life became superficial, empty and depressed. I had no idea that what was happening was that I was TERRIFIED OF INTIMACY BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED OF FACING MY EMOTIONS.

I am sure the same was true for pretty much every single person I used to hook up with. And that is why I am posting this, because I am sure I am not the only one who was unconsciously going through all of this. Everything was so confusing and unclear. Sex has become so perverted along with our minds and our emotions. Cravings, impulses and fear are the main dictators of our behaviors. It's like we don't own ourselves anymore - mostly because we live in an innocently ignorant confusion that we can't overcome.

May this writing shed some light on why we have behaved and behave the way we do as a human race. Don't buy the stories that sex and intimacy have to go together... I can tell you for sure that that is absolutely not true. I have found a level of inner clarity and peace and have discovered what it is like to have one's will free, instead of controlled by unconscious drivers - maturity is the hope and the heaven we are all longing for, because when one is being driven by our unconscious material... hell is the only product and we look back and wonder what the heck that whole nightmare was all about. This is why when time goes on and one notices the things that fall away by grace one says that one has awoken to the truth. One feels in touch with reality and control over our emotions and impulses is finally available to us. We are no longer victims of the shit we do that we don't want to do or the shit we say that we don't want to say... not that we become perfect, but we learn how to say I'M SORRY.

What could be more intimate and devoid of sex than that?

Friday, August 19, 2011

The Embrace Of My Fortune

It is hard to accept oneself in a world that can be so reluctant to allowing nature to be what it is. I hereby embrace the fact that I was blessed with beauty - a beautiful face, beautiful hair, beautiful eyes, a beautiful nose, beautiful ears, beautiful lips, beautiful hands, beautiful arms, beautiful legs and a beautiful body in general. I am very blessed to have been born with a beauty that can easily be globally appreciated. I am grateful for being tall, handsome and healthy.

I hereby embrace, thank and accept my fortune of having a beautiful voice, a beautiful mind and a beautiful soul. I embrace my beautiful emotional body and I feel grateful for having a wonderful psychological structure and personality that allows me to embrace myself in every direction.

I embrace that I have a beautiful family, with a beautiful Dad and Mom and beautiful siblings. I have a beautiful set of people I know and am close with. I am grateful and acknowledge and embrace my friends.

I seriously feel like I got it all. I have a beautiful education and a beautiful mindset. I am healthy, realistic, mature and sincere. I appreciate and embrace and accept that I am honest and loving. I am beautifully caring and accepting.

On the material level I appreciate, recognize, accept and embrace that I live in a beautiful neighborhood, that I have a beautiful car.

I embrace, accept and feel proud of my career as a guide and teacher. I love my website and my videos and my writings and my expressions. I feel proud of who I am as a human and enjoy exploring my journey. I've had a beautiful journey and I accept myself on every level.

I recognize that I am an emotionally, financially and spiritually responsible being who is a gem and jewel in this world. I embrace my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual beauty completely and feel no shame or apology for it. I am blessed beyond belief.

I am proud of my hard work and am excited to enjoy the benefits of humility, compassion and true love. I embrace, accept and enjoy myself on every aspect and guilt, shame, pride and doubt are no longer part of my values. I value self-love and self-love only and I extend that outwards to those who can receive it.

I am in love.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Despertando Del Sueño De La Famosa "Culpa"

Típicamente decido el idioma en el cual voy a escribir basado en la audiencia. En el famoso caso de la "culpa," quiero escribir en español porque siento que lamentablemente las culturas latinas estamos en niveles de consciencia un poco menos elevados que los países Anglosajones, que a mi entender tienen mayor acceso a enseñanzas de esta naturaleza. Lo digo por mi, que he sido fiel estudiante de las enseñanzas que conduncen a la liberación emocional las cuales casi todas han sido escritas en inglés.

Lo que quiero escribir concierne el sentido de culpabilidad que casi todo ser humano, ya sea consciente o inconscientemente carga dentro de si mismo. Este sentido de culpa, en gran parte, es lo que define al ser humano en sí. En mi caso he vivido sientiéndome culpable por no poder complacer a todo el mundo, algo que creo que es universal en estos tiempos. La moda nueva (o ya viejísima) habla del "egoísmo" y lo malo que es. Vivimos tratando de no ser "egoístas" porque eso es malo.

Lo que quiero decir de la culpabilidad es mucho, pero no sé lo que me vaya a salir. Tiendo a escribir espontáneamente lo que me sale de la mente y el corazón y nunca sé realmente lo que voy a decir. Claro, tengo ideas, pero nunca sé exactamente lo que me va a salir.

Número uno, la culpabilidad de una persona es una ilusión que no puede ser verdad nunca. Nadie es tan poderoso como para afectar la historia por si solo. En la vida hay un sinnúmero de causas y efectos que nunca pueden ser reducidos a un individuo. Podrá parecer que la razón por la cual otra persona está triste es por algo que uno le dijo, pero eso es sólo un factor de una cantidad infinita de factores que contribuyeron a la tristeza de esta persona. No existe tal caso como que hay un individuo singular que cause la tristeza de nadie. ¿Por qué? Porque el mundo es enorme y la vida y las emociones de un ser humano son demasiado complejas para ser responsabilidad de un solo factor. Hay cosas como la dieta, la historia, la salud mental, el nivel de entendimiento, el nivel de educación, hormonas, situaciones, condicionamientos psicológicos, sociales, culturales, emocionales y espirituales, etc.

Lo que causa un incidente siempre es mucho más que un individuo, claro existe la ILUSIÓN o la APARIENCIA de que todo fue causado por una persona en específico, pero esto nunca puede ser cierto. Una persona no es tan poderosa como para ser el ÚNICO factor que determina lo que sucede en la vida. Nada es "culpa" de ningún individuo en específico. Esto es una visión primitiva e ignorante, porque el universo está compuesto por una infinidad de factores interconectados que tienen impactos laterales.

El aislar la supuesta "causa" singular de un efecto podrá tener un uso práctico, pero SIEMPRE hay más de una causa para cualquier efecto. La vida no es tan simple como podemos creer que es. Es una trampa y un estado de arrogancia sutil extremo el pensar que uno es responsable por lo que está pasando en el mundo o lo que le está pasando a otro u a otros. Sólo somos una pieza, más que significante, insignificante en cualquier caso. No somos tan poderosos y grandes como para singularmente afectar el curso de la historia por nuestra propia cuenta. Sea la historia de un individuo o sea la historia de algo de mayor magnitud.

Ningún "héroe" o "villano" funcionó por si solo. Esto es una ilusión superficial. Cualquier figura histórica que tuvo un impacto positivo o negativo, no actuó por si solo... siempre hubo un sinnúmero de factores, incluyendo una gran cantidad de otras personas que contribuyeron a cualquier cambio. NO SOMOS TAN INFLUYENTES, SOMOS UNA SEMILLA DE MOSTAZA.

Jesús sigue siendo uno de mi genios, héroes y figuras históricas favoritas por su tono espiritual y místico. Éste genio mismo dijo "Yo no puedo hacer nada por iniciativa Mía; como oigo, juzgo, y Mi juicio es justo porque no busco Mi voluntad, sino la voluntad del que Me envió." (Juan 5:30)

Esto es obviamente un ser que ha llegado a una profundidad tan esencial que ya sabe que el no puede ser el autor de sus propias obras, porque lo que le da vida y voluntad es algo mucho más grande que su ilusión de sí mismo! En nuestros casos menos profundos, tampoco somos los autores singulares de nuestras obras! Hablamos el idioma que nos enseñan y vivimos la vida de la mejor manera que hemos aprendido. NO SOMOS RESPONSABLES POR LA VIDA DE NADIE QUE NO SEA LA DE NOSOTROS MISMOS! Y HASTA EN NUESTRAS PROPIAS VIDAS TENEMOS INOCENCIA. NADA ES NUESTRA "CULPA."

Thursday, June 30, 2011

La Felicidad Está En Mis Manos

No hay mejor descubrimiento que darte cuenta que tienes control de tu estado de ánimo. Tal vez no sea tan fácil como se lee, pero la llave está en tus manos. Cuando estés dentro de una nube de negatividad, puedes cuestionar tus pensamientos... claro, si te interesa llegar a la paz más que nadar en la oscuridad pesada de tus emociones negativas. Tenemos control y eso es indudable. Cada vez que te sientas hundido bajo una tonelada de pensamientos negativos, familiares y pesados utiliza la espada de la razón y la conciencia y alíneate con la realidad.

Lo cierto es que somos muy dichosos de estar vivos y todo lo que tenemos es de sobra. Recuerda que la vida no es para siempre y pudieses nunca haber nacido o haber estado muerto. Cuando vez las cosas desde este ángulo y si te aprendes el truquito de salir de todo tipo de pesimismo y pesadez verás que cada cosa es suspiro en el bizcocho de la vida.

La vida es un regalo, un milagro divino que está lleno de sorpresas y experiencias enriquecedoras y maravillosas. El simple hecho de poder ver, de poder hablar, de poder pensar, de poder caminar, de poder relacionarte, de poder vestir, de poder reir, de poder llorar, de poder sentir, de poder respirar, de poder elegir, de poder vibrar hace que el viaje valga la pena. ¿Por qué no?

Al parecer la mayoría de nosotros entramos en una etapa de addición a la negatividad y a la pesadez porque eso es lo que vemos al nuestro alrededor, y como buenos imitadores que somos vivimos toda una vida en lo mismo de siempre... quejarnos por lo que nos falta. Tenemos un banco de quejas supuestamente legítimas que utilizamos en cada oportunidad que tenemos. Pero también podemos aprender a ser agradecidos y a darnos permiso para brillar.

Piénsalo, eres único o única... nadie es como tú... nadie tiene tu historia. Eres sumamente especial y fantástico o fantástica. El hecho de que hayas venido de donde viniste con los detalles originales que tiene tu historia y con las particularidades de tu mente, tu cuerpo, tu personalidad y tu vida te hace la única persona como tú. Nadie es idéntico o idéntica a ti... eres una ESTRELLA ÚNICA!

No importa quien seas o de donde vengas o como seas, eres sumamente interesante, al menos para mi porque no te conozco a fondo. Eres un astro de luz que nació para irradiar las maravillas que sólo a ti te pertenecen. No escondas tus regalos, no imites a nadie... eres como eres porque así es que tienes que ser. Ejerce tus pasiones y expresa tu corazón y tu verdad... no tienes que caber en una cajita preestablecida por la sociedad. Practica lo que te gusta practicar, cree en lo que te gusta creer, ejerce lo que te gusta ejercer y confía en tu propio corazón que tiene todas las respuestas perfectas para ti.

Mira lo chulo que es dejar que tu autenticidad y singularidad se exprese! O me vas a negar que este escrito no es verídico y chulo? Me sale porque he aprendido a ser yo sin importar las consecuencias y al igual que tú soy un ser magnífico!

Gracias Daddy por pintarme y gracias Mami por darme a luz... al igual que ustedes soy una obra de arte iluminada! Los amo sin condición!

Un beso al mundo! Mucho amor!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Ways I Take Care Of Myself

Who's the most important person to take care of? Whatever your answer is, you can't argue with the fact that if the caretaker isn't at his or her best, then the care he or she will give won't be the best. If you don't take good care of yourself you can't take good care of others. The healthier and happier you are, the better you will be able to care for yourself and for others.

Imagine yourself sick and in bed, how are you going to take care of anyone? Until you get better you can't. Imagine yourself tired and angry, how are you going to take care of anyone? Imagine yourself fat and depressed, how are you going to take care of anyone? Imagine yourself ignorant and confused, how are you going to take care of anyone? The bottom line is this: the most important person to care for is yourself.

That said, I came up with the idea of writing out ways in which I like to care for myself so that I can take good care of others... here's a list (I'm sure I'll forget stuff)...

- I meditate
- I go out for walks
- I take naps and get comfortable
- I read good books and consume good information
- I sing for fun
- I eat good food
- I take long showers
- I go to the gym
- I go in the sauna and steam room
- I get pedicures
- I call a good friend
- I talk nicely to myself in my head
- I go to the park and enjoy nature
- I brush and floss my teeth daily
- I light natural scented candles
- I caress myself and tell myself nice things
- I keep in touch with supportive, positive and successful people
- I go to therapy and/or therapeutic gatherings
- I take voice lessons
- I write
- I dance
- I practice my social skills with strangers that seem inviting and gentle
- I stay away from negative, sensationalized information
- I stretch
- I establish boundaries in all of my relationships
- I say no and don't feel ashamed of it
- I keep my thoughts balanced, I avoid sensationalizing, exaggerating or dramatizing things
- I practice spiritual rituals and I keep this very private in order to avoid being criticized
- I practice deep breathing
- I listen to healthy, smart and supportive and loving talks
- I relax
- I trust my instincts
- I nurture my passions
- I avoid working too much
- I avoid overeating and oversleeping
- I tell the truth to myself and others
- I trust myself
- I get massages
- I go swimming
- I go to the beach
- I hangout with good friends
- I work to make my relationship healthy and strong
- I encourage myself and empower myself inside
- I take it easy
- I do not place great expectations on myself, and if I catch myself doing it, I stop
- I keep giving myself the love and support that is my birthright
- I go on vacation
- I save money

This is a pretty short list, there are many more practical and concrete things that I do. Mostly, I think what is most important is to seek BALANCE. Setting boundaries is very important, not overdoing anything is a great one for me since I tend to be an overachiever and since I tend to try and overcompensate for everything due to insecurities that are deep within. I know this because I study myself closely and I seek to provide myself with what I need in order to heal and recover myself. I have noticed that most people do not take good care of themselves, including me at times, for example when I smoke cigarettes in an attempt to avoid my emotions. I also tell myself mean things in my head sometimes because that is what I was taught to do. But these things can be kept in check if one has the intention of caring for oneself. I notice that when I care for myself successfully I am more productive, more creative and more at peace. I also notice that I am more efficient and that I can accomplish a lot more with a lot less work.

One important thing is staying out of denial and not making excuses for why one doesn't care for oneself. We have a million reasons to neglect ourselves and treat ourselves like garbage and we can even justify our crappy lifestyles and pretend like they are actually great when they are not. We do this because we fear exposing our truth. Hiding though, is not a healthy way to live and is very destructive and negligent. We have a responsibility to care for ourselves and love ourselves because that is the only way that we are going to accomplish what we were put on earth for. We don't have to love ourselves but this just makes life a lot more unpleasant and is a lot harsher on ourselves and on others. Living to love oneself and others is the best way of self-care... and if you think this is corny or bullshit then that's a perfect indication that you are filled with self-loathing and self-rejection probably because that's a lot of what you got as a child. Call that child and tell him or her that it's time for a new perspective and time for a new attitude. Without self-love there is no fulfillment. Care for yourself and the life that you want will unfold right before your eyes... SLOWLY. That's a huge key, patience. Growth and healing happen SLOWLY. There is no magic solution. Believing in fast progress or in magic is a form of self-abuse, because it is a fantasy that does not exist.

All the best!

Our Obsession With Power, Fame, Recognition and The Media

I cannot tell you the amount of times I have sang for a person or a group of people whether it's at work, on the street, for a friend or a family member and I've heard the question "Why don't you audition for American Idol?"

I cannot tell you the amount of times I've had people who have read what I've written whether it's an article, a blog entry, a poem, an essay or something else and have heard "Why don't you write a book?" or "Why don't you write for the newspaper?"

I cannot tell you the amount of times I've done an acting skit or something and people tell me "Why don't you move to California and make movies?"

I cannot tell you the amount of times people have seen professional pictures of me and ask me "Why don't you become a model?"

All of these questions are very nice and flattering and I love to hear them because they are indicative that people see something in me that has potential to shine on a large scale. That's very nice and very sweet. What people don't usually know is that I've auditioned for American Idol three times already, I've tried to write many books, I've tried to come up with something to submit to newspapers, I used to dream and years ago made a plan to move to California to make movies and I when I was in the greatest shape of my life I had thought about becoming a model.

No offense to anyone but I had already thought of all those things. None of those thoughts, ideas or questions were or are original.

The truth is that these thoughts, ideas, suggestions, questions and beliefs have been injected into our veins by our culture and the media. Well-spoken people should be on TV, good singers should be famous, good-looking tall men or women should be models, good writers should have books or articles, good actors should make movies and on and on the list goes. Beautiful kids should do commercials, good-looking and talented people should be famous, good dancers should be behind Madonna, people who know three languages should be traveling, people with good taste for clothes should be in the fashion world... well, you get the point. It's so cliché by now that at least for me it verges on nauseating.

These ideas come from so many distorted perceptions we get... it's funny because we have been indoctrinated to associate power, fame and recognition with happiness and success. In fact in our culture, there is no other model for success that does not involve large scale recognition. The manager is successful, the owner is successful, the famous actor is successful, the CEO is successful, the president is successful, the entrepreneur is successful, the host is successful. People like secretaries, clerks, janitors, mail-men, barbers, etc are only successful IF they work for someone highly successful or IF they are making a lot of money.

So there you have it, success = recognition.

The more people that click "Like" on this note on Facebook, the more "successful" I am. Success is a matter of numbers.

Can we wake up from this long induced and deeply embedded dream? Can we release this obsession? Can we see how untrue it is? Can we get past this craving for the spotlight that makes us feel bored and miserable everyday? Can we be our own heroes and our own stars? Can we let go of the fantasy?

I sure as hell have! It's enough. : )

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I Found A Breath of Reality

I remember how lost in wanting to be "amazing" I was. I didn't realize that I was being amazing the whole time! It's sad how we drive ourselves crazy chasing what we already have. "Amazing" was an illusion in my mind that I could see almost anywhere outside of me... well, not anywhere, I was pretty picky! It had to be Ricky Martin, Adam Lambert, Mark Baxter, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, I don't know... all these "amazing" people who did "amazing" things.

I feel so grateful for the men who have inspired me. All they've done is show me who I am and who I have always been! This AMAZING manifestation of the diversity and divinity of life.

With a big head, with the tip of a pinky missing, with a loud voice, with a brassy personality, with a sweet smile, with bushy dark eyebrows, with a little belly that splits in two, with a scar on my stomach, with a funny posture, with a strange view. I'm a freak! And I love it!

Thank you men who unknowingly fooled me into thinking that there was such a thing other than amazing and that that was me and the rest of the world. It all started with my mom and dad, to me they were gods of perfection, then it went to Ricky, then it went to college professors, to Broadway actors and actresses, then it went to Mark, then it went to Adya, then it went to God and now it's back to me.

I am an amazing being of light and nobody can convince me otherwise! I love myself COMPLETELY and I believe in myself one hundred percent! The sky is the limit and self-love is all I got for me... I don't need anyone else to do it for me... and I don't need to pretend like I am less than anybody else anymore!


Monday, May 16, 2011

Yes, I get it

Yes society, world, culture, people... I get it. Being good looking is better than being ugly, being tall is better than being short, being smart is better than being dumb, having a college degree is better than not having a college degree, being heterosexual is better than being gay, being rich is better than being poor, having a BMW is better than having a Toyota, being famous is better than being unknown, being skinny is better than being fat, living in a prestigious neighborhood is better than living in the ghetto, being well-spoken is better than not being well-spoken, being charismatic is better than being boring.

Yes, I get it, following the norms and rules is better than not. Behaving according to what is expected by all is better than breaking out of the box.

I get it world, you have set standards that when not lived up to them then that means one has a lot of work to do. I get it, life is all about impressing the world and having people admire one. Yes world, I know that according to you this life is all about getting your acceptance and approval - that those who make it to the cover of a magazine are better than those who don't. I get that life is all about who has more, who looks better, who does more, who sells more. I get that success is all about numbers. I get it.

I get how the whole thing goes, I know what competition and comparison is. It's actually quite simple. If I'm taller and better looking then I must be better, if my house is nicer then I must be better, if I have a special talent then I must be better, if I have a bigger muscles then I must be better, if I have nicer clothes then I must be better, if I have a higher position then I must be better, if I can type faster then I must be better. It's all about comparison and who's the best. If I run faster then I'm better, if I make it to 1st place then I'm better than the rest. I get it... it's about popularity, the most popular is the best. If I have a Master's then I'm better than whoever has a Bachelor's - it's hysterical.

One's worth and value is determined by what the world says, by what others say. That's how this whole thing works! Whoever can sing the highest note is the better singer. Whoever can work more hours is the better citizen. This culture is a hoot. It's so nice to not be playing that game and feeling like a true success. Drop out of the madness and follow your heart and your love and passion -- not the world... you'll go crazy! Believe me, I already did... thank God I lived to tell the story!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The "Everything Should Be Easy" Syndrome

Ah, America! I write that as if I knew much more about other cultures, which to be honest, I really know close to nothing about anything outside of the way we Americans live. I mean, sure I grew up in the Dominican Republic but that's still Latin America and it seems like contemporary Dominicans are highly influenced by the North American way.

No long ago I was teaching a class to kids in a private school that was about building wooden airplanes. The process required some sanding, gluing, coloring and adjusting. The reaction of many of my students was "Why do we have to sand them?" or "Why do we have to build them ourselves, why can't we just buy them at the store?"

It's amazing, at first it happened in a private school where the kids where obviously (financially) wealthy, but then it started happening in public schools too. We are so spoiled as a nation that we don't want to work for anything. We don't want to learn how to cook, how to drive a standard transmission vehicle, we don't even want to have to use our bodies anymore.

Forget just not wanting to do any physical work, we avoid going to college because it takes too long and it's too much work. We look to do a three-month course in photography or a two week bar-tending class so that we can get a license and make quick money. We don't want to use our brains. We want the car to automatically shut the headlights for us and we want our food to be ready in less than five minutes. No wonder why the fast food industry is owning the world.

In any kind of relationship we feel that if it's not easy to get along, then we should just discard them and move on. We don't want to do any kind of work. In our personal development we want to go see a psychologist once or twice (if even that) and if we didn't get results then the whole thing is bullshit. In spirituality if we don't get to know God within the first few months of seeking, we discard our devotion and convert to more worldly ways. If it's not EASY, we scrap it.

If the pill doesn't cause weight loss then we just forget about the whole thing and move on to forgetting all about ever being healthy. If the natural herbal pill doesn't get rid of the cold immediately then we say that the product is a scam. If it's not easy we just say FUCK IT! We become defeated, comfortable people who have settled for cynicism and low-level despair.

I can't tell you how many students I've had that when I tell them that learning to sing takes YEARS, they run for the door, move on and find another teacher that lies to them telling them that they can learn right away and takes their money. All only to later come back to me and tell me I was right the whole time.

The whole "everything should be easy" spoiled brat syndrome is slowly taking people's PASSION for living away from them. It is an immature, absurd and defeatist attitude that stinks like dead rats. NOTHING THAT'S REAL IS EASY! Only fantasies and delusions are! Like credit cards, make-up, instant soup, tights that conceal your fat, beach resorts, computer editing, magic, lies, tricks and bullshit. All those things are easy, but they are not REAL. Phony relationships, phony weddings, phony orange juice, phony laughter. All those things might be easy but they are PHONY.

It is easy to build a house without a foundation because we don't have to get dirty and dig a whole. It is easy to make a house out of cardboard because we don't have to chop wood and carry water. But all the easy stuff goes away as easy as it comes. EASY COMES, EASY GOES!

Wake-up from the silly dream of magic, perfection and ease -- it's a fantasy. Look at Kim Kardashian, she looks like an idiot... is that who you want to be?

I feel very SORRY for people with the "Everything Should Be Easy" Syndrome... they're half brain-dead! I am so HAPPY I got out of it! Anything worthwhile is CHALLENGING!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Declaration Of Spiritual Autonomy

It's pretty obvious that there doesn't seem to be a single human being on the planet who isn't in a search for something beyond the material. Even self-proclaimed atheists and so-called materialists whether in denial or not, have an intrinsic curiosity toward the otherworldly. To me, that's just a fact, why? Because I have never personally met or even read about anyone who hasn't been intrigued by the whole notion of there being something more to life than what we can see.

Sure, there are people that go into a denial that is so deep that they use the power of their own beings to suppress and hide their innate curiosity. Perhaps there are even some people who haven't awoken to their latent spiritual curiosity, but the fact to me is that we all have an inner calling towards what most of us like to call God. The way I see it, atheists have it too. Why else would somebody be so adamant in their insistence that something does "not" exist. What is it that they are denying? I always use the example of how I never create a label around not believing in Santa Clause. I just don't believe that Santa is real, period. I don't call myself an "asantaist." To do that would be to be showing an unusual interest in Santa, which would be funny because it would probably have something to do with me actually believing in Santa.

Now, I'm not saying that every atheist believes in God deep down, perhaps some people have come to their own realization that there could not be this singular and distinct entity called God. They may argue that there is no such thing as extremes, that things are not black or white - that those are primitive and simplistic ways of looking at things because it violates the laws of relativity and so on. I'm really just interested in making it a point that we are all called to explore life in a way that goes beyond what we consider possible. That's all.

Where else would all religions come from? Where else would all philosophies and arguments come from? We are curious AND uncertain about many things in life. To me, that's just the plain truth.

The point of proving this is basically explaining and clarifying mostly for myself and hopefully for others where my spiritual quests, journeys and paths have come from. I'm just human, and it's in our nature to inquire and be curious about the unknown. Lucky for me, this was never really shut down totally. I've always been a curious bighead peeking deeper and deeper into everything. With this incessant curiosity and with this relentless personality I have driven a lot of people to the edge of temporary insanity. I have driven my mom, my dad, my brothers, my sister, my lovers, my friends, my teachers and even acquaintances crazy - most of all I have driven myself to actual insanity, leading me to be institutionalized.

Yes, my love for God has driven me crazy. It has created many paths, quests, confusion, angst and every other emotion and non-emotion that I could imagine. I have laughed, cried, sang and remained quiet and everything in between. My thirst for God and my passion for discovering the truth has made me a very awkward and strange individual. Even though on the exterior to some I may seem completely normal, I could assure you that I have been far from it. My dysfunction as an ego in this society according to its standards has been pretty pronounced. I have only managed to get myself in a lot of trouble and have independently accomplished very little so far. At least in my eyes. For others the story might be completely different. I am speaking from within me and being truthful in my feelings.

The truth is that at 27 years-old I still feel like a child that has used the whole world in order to fulfill his needs. At first my needs were spiritual, then my needs became material and egoic and finally they mostly became spiritual again. At this last stage I leaned on various spiritual teachers. The teachers are really too many to mention but my greatest attachment and clinging were on two (in my eyes) wonderful teachers by the names of Mark Baxter and Adyashanti. I have carried what I've been able to collect of their minds and I have depended on the knowledge of these teachers like a kid learning to ride a bike depends on the training wheels. Mark Baxter has been my right wheel and Adyashanti has been my left.

The immense fear of letting go of these training wheels perfectly resembles the fear I had of letting go of my actual training wheels. I was terrified and horrified more than any of my other brothers seemed to be (I have no way of knowing the truth about their situation, but it seemed like it was a lot easier for them.) Yes, I realize that this is all good and well and natural, but the other good and well and natural thing to do is to let go.

And as terrified and horrified of never referring to either of my teachers as I am, I feel naturally inclined to release the grip of dependency today. Yes, today on May 4th, 2011 I declare myself spiritually independent and I abandon myself to myself completely. No more external authorities, no more religion, no more external seeking. I am left alone with myself for I feel sure that I have everything I need directly inside and even though I may not be an expert at accessing my own inner wisdom, I know that true learning can only happen when one lets go of one's crutches.

I have a long way to go in all the different levels of my development, but one thing is for sure: this declaration and this acceptance of myself as my own spiritual teacher will make things a lot easier for me. I will no longer be waiting around to hear what Adyashanti has to say and I will no longer be waiting for Mark Baxter to reply my e-mails. It doesn't mean that Adya and Mark won't be in my life anymore, it means that they have gone from being my teachers to being my friends. Friends who I love and appreciate deeply and find myself deeply interested in, but now I am individuated from them and I will no longer seek their approval.

This is as relieving as it is terrifying yet the time has come for me. My journey has come to a fruition that demands that in order for there to be more growth I step into my heart and become the leader of my own life. Sadly most people never arrive at this point but now I can be here for others in a way that I could never be before, so yes, I accept my duty to be present for those on the path of which today I step off of.

My life is pathless, my steps create the illusion of a journey that even I do not fully comprehend. I declare myself spiritually satisfied. And yes, it is the greatest satisfaction of all!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Life Is On Our Side

When I think back to any difficult time in my life, the single most affecting factor was my attitude. The truth is that all throughout life in general has been on my side. There have always been people who have loved me dearly, always been people who supported me warmly, there have also been people who have believed and trusted in me all the way.

The only stubborn, rebellious and incredulous one was me. Of course there were people who were stubborn, rebellious and incredulous when it came to me, and of course I was influenced by their negativity, but all I really needed to do was to check and see that it wasn't a big deal that I had jerks around, that the bigger deal was how much power I was giving them. For some reason, it seems like most of us prefer giving power to the fewer negative forces in life than giving the power to were it really is: the loving, encouraging and supportive forces of life.

God is way more powerful than the devil, in fact, at a certain point in our spiritual development the devil has absolutely no power whatsoever, the devil doesn't even exist anymore.

I think it's funny that now that my attitude isn't a stubborn, rebellious and negative one, most of the people and experiences I bump into are pleasant. Traffic jams aren't nearly as annoying, and my complaints are mostly for entertainment of myself and others. I laugh at my anger nowadays. Now that my attitude is aligned with the benevolence of life I make $600 dollars in 5 hours of work, I get more students to help and I feel more empowered to accomplish my goal of moving out.

I personally choose not to believe in the whole "I have no control" thing. Maybe I don't, but if I'm going to believe that, I believe that whatever it is that has control is on my side and is benevolent. Now that my attitude is corrected I no longer experience guilt, shame, rage, fury and internal turmoil. It's amazing when we see for ourselves that the main thing that was against us was our own attitude. It's even more shocking to see how long we have refused to notice this for ourselves.

It's really not the "negative" people around us, it's really not our "inferior" condition, it's really not the government, it's really not society, it's not the cops, it's not the bank, it's not the system, it's really not our boss, it's really our own attitude. It's not the gas prices, it's not our parents, it's not our neighbors, it's not our friends, it's not our lovers. It really is our stubbornness, our ingratitude, how bratty we are. It's really our own egos.

I don't pretend to say that I have overcome my ego, but I sure as hell know now that if I get in trouble the first place to check is inside myself. If I am in a crappy place in my life, I don't blame others and I don't even blame myself, but I immediately check my attitude. Am I in a victim position? Am I being impatient? Am I being a lazy brat? Am I whining and complaining too much? Am I being an asshole to those around me because things aren't going my way? Am I lying to myself and seeing that "others" are the ones being jerks.

I notice I have friends and family members who treat me like shit when things aren't going their way. I notice I do that sometimes too. That's just so unfair and irresponsible - and what happens to us when we do this is that we start to grind unpleasantly against life. I was about to write that life goes against us, but that wouldn't be true, it's that we go against life ourselves.

Life is so on our side and so loving that it doesn't hold a single grudge and it's always forgiving. Life doesn't get "mad" and it doesn't "punish" us. We do it to ourselves.

God have I been hurt by other people's egos! God have other people been hurt by my ego! But God has life been generally kind and loving towards me! Yes, in life I have experienced pain and grief... but all the ones that were generated by a divine grace taught me something wonderful and made me a better man. When I am hurt by the ego of others or when I hurt others with my ego there is so little to be learned and so much inconvenience. It's just amazing. Life is wise, fruitful, kind and generous while an unhealthy ego is usually just unwise, unfruitful, unkind and greedy.

It's nice to know though that other egos are only as powerful as we make them. I do not believe that even the president has any more power than the people give him... and even that power isn't his. I don't believe that any single human being has more power than any other! That power is something we give them or it's a delusion. I used to get so (really) angry at certain individuals in the media or even in my life... now I see that individuals are only as powerful as I make them in my mind and I still can get (kind of) angry at them. The difference is now I know that no individual is powerful enough to remove the fact that LIFE IS ON OUR SIDE.

:-) Let's realize this more and more everyday... if we don't... well... we might just destroy our race!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

We Worship The Impossible

Have you noticed how we humans worship the impossible?

We worship permanent happiness, which is an impossibility and simply doesn't exist and will never exist. Not even animals are always happy and they don't have the issues we have. Our dog Noah is fed, taken care of and has absolutely all of his physical needs met yet he still gets occasionally sad, angry, bored, tired, withdrawn, etc. He is for sure not ALWAYS happy.

We worship permanent beauty, which is an impossibility because everything is always changing. Our hair-do will eventually get messed up, our make-up will eventually wear off, our clothes will eventually get sweaty. The beautiful flower will eventually wither, the beautiful tree's leaves and flowers will eventually fall.

We worship permanent youth, this is why there's all this Botox and plastic surgery going around, this is why all these anti-wrinkle creams are out there, this is why most of us experience a severe mid-life crises. We don't want to age, we want to be permanently young. We've all heard those stories about the Egyptians and those tales about people wanting to hold on to permanent youth. We refuse to accept that EVERYTHING is temporary.

We worship the permanent relationship, this is why there are so many shitty relationships gripping on. We are stubborn and we like to think that things are forever. We are afraid of what others will say if a break-up happens. "But I thought they were going to make it." This is why there are these notions of "the one" and "twin soul" and the "half orange." This is where all these songs of "I can't live without you" or "I can't stop thinking about how things were," etc. come from.

We worship permanent ease. As soon as things get hard we lose it. If we are driving down a stretch of smooth road we're chill and quiet because it's easy, but then as soon as a patch of traffic hit we go "Shit!" As if to say, ease and smoothness is supposed to always be the case.

Because we worship permanence we spend a lot of time missing our youth, missing the past, in nostalgia, wishing things were back, wishing we could go back, wishing to be young again, etc. Wishing for things to not change. Many of us aren't grateful of change, we just want to go back and we live thinking about how things used to be. Many of us are obsessed with the past and how much "better" it was. This comes from the worship of permanence.

Why is this?

Well, if you ask me, this is all due to our collective illusions and delusions of PERFECTION. We are literally taught and trained that there is such a thing as perfection and permanent happiness. We are literally taught that there is such a thing as permanence and guarantees in life. We are taught that there is such a thing as "ALWAYS, FOREVER, EVERY TIME, NEVER, ETC." These words, whether we realize or not are so extreme that they could only really be used for universal principles.

When we have not matured and awoken to the truth we think that reality is supposed to be what we hope or expect it to be, we walk around with IDEAS of what things SHOULD be like, and when these ideals aren't being met, we go nuts! We start to get angry, depressed, bored, tired, unhappy and miserable. Let's face it, there is no such thing as permanence.

No, you and I will never manage to always be happy. There is no such thing. You will not always be smiling, there will always be something to keep you on your toes. It's sad how spoiled we are and how entrained we are to believe that everything is supposed to go our way. It's NEVER going to happen. Life will ALWAYS have something to remind you that you will FOREVER have to deal with the ups and downs of reality and EVERY TIME this happens you will have the choice to accept or to argue, except you will NEVER win.

The impossible isn't possible and it's impossible to always get what you want!

Wake up! Stop worshiping the impossible... it's a fantasy!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Q&A - My Thoughts on Acting and Christianity

Hi Gabriel,

I want to learn how to act as well. What do you recommend books/courses etc.
Also what are your thoughts on Christianity? - "S"

Hi "S,"

First of all, thank you for your question.

In my experience, you can't learn acting from a book -- but you can get tips from books and try them out. Basically it takes a lot of practice, just like singing. So any book you feel drawn to will do. I like "The Intent To Live" by Larry Moss a lot.
It's a fun read and very helpful.

As far as courses, I don't really know, I went to college for acting and to be quite honest, for the most part, had really bad teachers! I think acting is a skill that takes a lot of maturity and understanding of the human condition -- so the more you understand human beings and yourself, and the more you understand your feelings and those of other people, and the braver you are to express them... the better actor you are going to be. It's really all about courage and opening up fearlessly -- while knowing you're acting all the while. It's a subtle and tricky balance, just like singing.

My thoughts on Christianity? Well, that's a big question -- it's very general. I love Jesus Christ and I love feeling and experiencing Christ Consciousness and I love the purity and love of Jesus and the peace and freedom of the Rock of Christ -- but I have nothing to do with Christianity as an organized religion, nor do I have any desire to. Personally, I don't really care much for organized religion -- not that I am saying that there is no use for it or it is not helpful for many, but it's just not what I am inclined to be a part of at the moment. In fact, I presently have many negative beliefs, opinions and thoughts about religion. I associate the word religion with hypocrisy, war, deceit, corruption, damage and deception. But that's just me.

In general I am not a fan of solidly identifying myself with "groups" -- like a "Singing Success" group or a religious group, social groups, cliques in school or anything like that. I have always been pretty independent and autonomous. I've never been one to be pick sides... I always see myself as an individual and even if I went to church (which I have and still would) I wouldn't feel like I am a nothing without the validation and support of others. I see myself as an independent part of society that has his unique contribution for the world... I don't see myself as a dependent member of anything. I understand most people are not like me, and I respect that as well. It is okay for me to be the way I am and it is okay for other people to be the way they are.

To me, as soon as you group a bunch of people and they start to feel more powerful than a minority, they start to abuse their collective manpower and put down smaller groups or individuals. This is what happened to Jesus, He was part of a minority (well, he was alone basically, but had a few followers) and he got stoned, spit on and crucified. All because the majority had more manpower.

I do not like how easy it becomes for large groups of people to agree on points of view and then feel powerful because of the amount of people in the group and then how they try to force the world to see things through their eyes and if not they will even go to war or abuse the nonbelievers.

Homosexuals are a great example of a minority that has been discriminated and abused by so-called Christians and other groups... African Americans were slaves because they were a minority in the US and they were abused by white people. Hispanics are discriminated to no avail wherever they are a minority.

Anyway, my problem with big organizations or groups like that is that if they become corrupted and drunk by their power, they can easily become powerful monsters with which I can be associated with, if I become a member of them. I consider myself deeply and profoundly Christian and I have a very deep connection with the soul of Jesus Christ. I can easily weep thinking about this connection, feeling His love and compassion. But I do not publicly call myself a Christian, nor do I believe that because someone calls themselves a Christian they are truly Christian. I think a lot of people use it as a cool name tag that makes them feel special.

I know many so called "Christians" who are not only suffering from severe cases of self-loathing, but also loathing for others and they express this loathing in many subtle ways which they dress up as "righteousness."

To me, Christ put it really simply when He said "Love the other as yourself." The first thing we have to figure out is how to love ourselves and then we will know how to love others. Individually connecting with Christ can absolutely help us accomplish this self-love.

Incidentally, Jesus was not talking about a special or exclusive love, He didn't just say: "Love your friend as yourself," He said "The other." In fact, he even advised to "Love your enemies" -- so if homosexuals are the "enemy" why aren't "Christians" loving them?

I am a Christian in my heart, but I am certainly not a Christian in the traditional, worldly sense. I LOVE Jesus and I LOVE God -- but I do not care for man-made religion or dogma.

All that said -- I love you as I love myself!


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Love God

Is there anything in the universe that wasn't created by God? Absolutely not! God is the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of you and me, the Creator of all we see, hear, taste, touch, smell and feel.

When I see an amazing artist, 5% of my attention is on the artist and 95% on God. My consciousness is amazed and sensing: "Wow, if it wasn't for God, this person wouldn't have a body, a form, creativity and the willingness to cultivate his or her talent" God, whether we know it or not, is the source of all power, all talent and all creative action.

Had God not created the Universe, we wouldn't be having experiences, we wouldn't be alive and we wouldn't be in the world wondered by life. Everything you and I have we owe to God.

When I read a brilliant writing, when I witness a brilliant mind, when I walk in nature... all I sense is the presence of God. God's love and creativity, God's care.

When we forget our source, when we abandon our connection with God, we can easily forget where it all came from and what really is important... that's when we start acting rebelliously against the beauty and awesomeness of God. That's when we start being ungrateful and hateful and hurtful.

God carries us through all and God's love is always available and present. I certainly can feel it whenever I remember to connect. God's love, forgiveness, compassion, understanding, care, light, peace, joy, freedom and wonder. With a connection to God we feel a life filled with meaning and purpose, with joy. It's an ongoing sense of gratitude and service to God's love.

There is no way to serve two masters at the same time: the wounded human mind that feels alone and separate and the Wholeness of God's love and purpose. With God you are loving, creative, compassionate, understanding and content. Without God you are disconnected, afraid, lost and confused.

When I see a tree or an animal that amaze me, I am amazed at God's perfection and capacity. God is omnipresent and omnipotent and omniscient. God permeates everything.

God's love is so unconditional and goes so far that it allows us to do anything we want... even kill each other. Yet God remains God just observing the sad confusion that has taken over our human minds. God patiently and lovingly waits for us to return to sanity. When we forget that all things are connected to God, that this is all the Body of God, we literally go crazy. We feel a panic and a sense of loss that is hard to recover from.

The only way to experience the richness, fullness and depth of life is through the acknowledgment of God's involvement. God is with us.

May we all re-connect and realize the power, the love and the creativity that arise only from God and may we give thanks everyday for the gift of choice. The choice to walk with God's love or walk with the loneliness of a confused mind.

I hereby profess my love for God!

Friday, January 14, 2011


Here's what I know to be true for me: We are all free to live our lives how we please... the opinion that matters most when it comes to yourself is your own! Not anyone else's! My opinion about how you live your life is NOT important, we all know what is right and what is wrong for us! I have my opinions and views on how we should live, but it's not important unless you think so! I try to live up to my expectations of myself.

For example I think we should ALL drink at least 4 glasses of water a day -- so I try to live up to that goal for me. I think it would be good for all of us, and I think it should be a priority for everyone. That's what I think -- I am allowed to have that belief. But that doesn't mean that you have to believe me or agree with me or even do it or feel pressure because I think that! That's MY opinion. We are all allowed to have opinions.

I think people shouldn't have road-rage, because I believe it is unhealthy, I think people should save money, I think people should take responsibility for their feelings, I think people should learn how to express themselves... I think these are GOOD things and HEALTHY things. I think the world would be a better place if people did these things. I think people should strive to be HONEST, I think people should exercise, I think people should be loving. Again, those are MY opinions.

The people who are close to me DO NOT have to AGREE -- NOBODY has to agree with me. But I agree with myself and that's good enough. When people around me hear me say these things they feel pressure... but that is not my fault! I think people should look for God, but I have many friends who are atheists and I love them dearly... I don't expect other people to have MY set of beliefs! I think all singers should take voice lessons and practice and rehearse and eat healthy and workout. But that doesn't mean I force my voice students to do that. I make SUGGESTIONS, I give ADVICE, I teach CAUSE AND EFFECT... according to what I have seen.

Am I perfect? No! Do I live up to all my ideals? No! Do I want to? Not really! I don't want to be perfect! I like being human and learning from my mistakes.





What 99.9% of us (including me) don't realize

"Reality" is not necessarily what you and I think it is. The way to prove this is to take ten different people and ask each one of them what reality is -- take for example asking someone what the best car is... someone will say "They're all the same they have four wheels," another will say "BMW's," another one will say "Toyota's," another will say "Mercedes Benz," another will say "That's a stupid question," another will say "It's subjective"... you get the idea, for each of these individuals "reality" is whatever they think it is... the person that thinks it's "subjective" will argue with the guy that swears up and down that it's "BMW" -- the guy with the "subjective" argument will have tons of intelligent, coherent and sense-making evidence to prove his point, just as the guy that said "BMW" will have tons of intelligent, coherent and sense-making evidence to prove his.

To go on with examples, take an artist... some think the best singer in the world was Frank Sinatra, others would say that he wasn't even closer to being the best singer. I used to think Ricky Martin was the best singer in the world, while my best friend would think that he sucked ass. Now, to get even close let's take our opinions of the people around us, some may think that John Doe is a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor, while others may think he is a conceited asshole with no tact. Who's right and who's wrong?

The interesting and tricky thing about perception is that it can change within oneself many, many times. The guy we think is a saint today may seem like the devil the day after. "Wow, I really think that man you introduced me to is educated and wonderful," and a week later the same person may say "That guy you introduced me to that day is a total moron, did you see how he spoke to her?"

Most of us don't know this, but our perception is playing a game with all of us. We would never want to believe this, and of course, this is an article being written by MY PERCEPTION so I could be wrong or right at any given moment depending on the individual and the situation. It is my opinion that there is a .1% of the population that can view things clearly, and it is my opinion that anyone who is passionately interested in perceiving THE TRUTH OF REALITY can cross over to the side of accurate perception. Does that mean that you will be better than others? Absolutely not... it will mean that you know that you DON'T KNOW ANYTHING because you CAN'T KNOW ANYTHING. The people who are in this .1% don't know more than you and me, they know LESS. They don't know what the "right" religion is, they don't know what the "right" fashion is, they don't know what the "truth" is... they know that the individual human mind does NOT have the ability to "KNOW THE TRUTH" of ANYTHING.

Most of us walk around believing that we know who the other is, who God is, what the "right" religion is, what people "should be like," how things actually are. Most of us would deny the possibility of not being absolutely correct about our shallow and deep views. Most of us think that it is not possible that we are wrong about our deep beliefs. Most of us would never even consider that our point of view is relative. Most of us are just looking to be right about everything we believe and we find "proof" anywhere we please. We make ideas in our heads about someone else or some subject and then we wait and collect all the "evidence" that proves that we are "right."

I will write from my perspective -- most of us are not aware of how delusional we can be. Most of us are CONVINCED that we KNOW THE TRUTH and that is simply not the case.

I personally think that a good solution for this is understanding that it is okay to have our individual beliefs and points of view, but to not actually believe that we are exclusively right and that we know better than everyone else. To see oneself as an individual with individual points of view and opinions, which are totally fine, as long as we are not ABSOLUTE about them. When we think that what we believe is the only correct way to see things, that is violence. Others are entitled to their perspectives and remaining open and receptive is the only way to truly be healthy.

If you find yourself saying things like "That's enough, this is stupid, yeah right, you're wrong" or being passive aggressive and sarcastic and not giving others the benefit of the doubt or give them a chance to clarify their points, that means your mind is closed and obviously so is your heart. If you are taking this note personally, that also means that you are concluding that this note must be exclusively about you and you may even be feeling attacked, but you might be wrong... the subject says 99.9% including me!

So we're in this together brothers and sisters... now let's get to life!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

About Loved Ones

God – I feel you are wonderful because you are almighty and all powerful and all everything. You are an awesome and cool mystery that I will never be able to comprehend. The love You emanate is blinding… I just think you are wonderful.

To Mami – You’re wonderful because you’re so different from the rest of people, you don’t comb your hair, you don’t care about make-up, you’re raw, wild, real, spontaneous and strong. You are wonderfully stubborn and intelligent and you’re very loud and charismatic. You’re brassy, sexy, warm, funny. You love to laugh and dance and go on crazy adventures, you’re not clingy, you’re independent, strong and just really good company. You’re an awesome woman.

To Dad – You’re cool because you can get any material thing you set your mind to, you are wowed by simple things, you upgrade your car when you feel like it, always get a new computer, TV, shoes, whatever. The fact that you make so much money makes you cool and that you love your job so much and that you work so hard. It’s cool that you’re not in people’s faces and that you’re shy and low-key. I think it’s cool that you travel by yourself every year to any country you want and you are always thinking of other people. It’s cool how you allow two of your kids to be in gay relationships and you open the doors of your house to allow this. It’s cool that you’re so financially supportive and it’s cool that you like to play computer games, go on the internet and watch TV.

To Fabie – You’re awesome because you left the house at 17 and figured your life out on your own, it’s cool that you have a beautiful son that you obviously adore. It’s cool that you are so strong and beautiful. You’re sweet and fun to be around, it’s cool that you like to go on the computer and watch TV too, it’s cool that you work so hard and it’s cool that you’re doing your own thing. You’re awesome for many reasons, you’re smart, creative and a great friend. You’re awesome because you don’t really need anyone to get ahead and because you just keep on living life and enjoying what you’re into. You’re awesome!

To Benji – I think your passion for cars is pretty awesome. You go nuts when you see a car that you like and you work hard to get it. I think it’s cool how car savvy you are and how you’re athletic and into sports and how you’re also such a good friend. I think it’s cool that you’re into matching your clothes and how you’re into having a good time anywhere you go. I think you’re awesome because you like to laugh a lot and you like to help other people. You are cool because you love Dad so much and it shows, you’re also cool because you love all of your brothers and you’re just awesome. It’s cool that you yell and let go when you get angry and that you are so passionate about everything you get into.

To Aaron – There’s a lot that makes you cool, you’re into fashion, singing, make-up, entertaining, you’re an incredible sales man and you have an incredible knack for meeting people and connecting. Your social skills are awesome, it’s cool that you like good drink and you like to go out and you like to dance and have a good time. That you like eating out, looking good, working out, talking. It’s cool that you give yourself to your boyfriend and how you’re such a cool cat. It’s awesome that you’re into the photography thing, that you like to take pictures and that you’re really sweet and smart. You’re just so much fun to be around, you’re funny and your sense of humor is so easy to enjoy.

To Andre – First of all, you’re awesome because you’re a genius and you have a huge heart and you would do anything for anyone. It’s cool how you live on your own and how you do your own thing and your sense of style and fashion is pretty awesome too. It’s cool how you reinvent your look every couple of months and how you are so tall and skinny and how you have a bunch of friends and all these things you like to do and all these places you like to go to. It’s cool how you have a roommate, how you like videogames and how you’re so nice to hang out with. You’re awesome because you like a good time and because you are smarter than most people.

To Marcelo
– There’s a lot that makes you awesome, you love to laugh and have a good time, you’re pleasant and easy to get along with, you don’t think a lot other than enjoying the party and you have a heart of gold. You are loving and it looks like everybody likes you. You play it safe and that’s really awesome and refreshing for me. You are great company, good to be around, you are very supportive and you’re just real and honest. You are not pretentious and you are obviously a very curious soul who loves to learn new things. You are very interested in other people and that’s really nice. You are just an awesome person with a lot of wonderful qualities. You’re so nice to be with. It’s cool that you’re proud of who you are too, that’s awesome!

To Dusty – You’re fabulous because you are so filled with color and excitement and wonder. Because you are creative, playful, spontaneous and funny… you’re like a big kid and you are cool because you are so loving, passionate and committed. You love your mom and dad and your dog and your husband and your friends and you get really excited about living this life. You love to do things, you enjoy stuff and that’s just awesome. You would also give your life for someone you love because you have an enormous loving heart. You are really cool and you’re just so much fun to be with.

To Titi – You’re just so strong and powerful, your presence is like “Here I am” and you take over, you’re super smart, super loving and super on top of things. You are very attentive and you are a ton of fun. You have an awesome sense of humor and you possess a maturity that is very comforting. You work hard, play hard and rest hard. You are awesome, cool and amazing. Your free spirit and your large personality make you a great candidate for so many things. You are awesome, you are cool and you are just really a treasure.

To Irine – Can you say super bright? And super committed to being the best that you can be? You are awesome because you are passionate, ambitious and hard working, you focus on deep things that really matter and you are creative beyond a doubt. Your talent is so much and your sensitivities are so good that it amazes me. You are a great friend and great to talk to and you would do anything for anyone you love. Your laugh is the best and you love to laugh often and you are interesting and mysterious which are such cool qualities to have. You do not gossip, you are non-confrontational and you are awesome.