Not special in my supposed lack of specialness.

Funny how as I grow, I see more and more how not alone I am in the things I used to be embarrassed about. I used to hate the fact that I had become hardened, arrogant and pretentious. I used to hate how egocentric, narcissistic and stubborn I had become. But the more I open my eyes, the more I see that it's just part of the socialization part for many of us.

I love the enneagram system. It's really helped me see how I am just a type of human with certain propensities somewhat unique to my type, yet there are millions like me. From what I understand I am a type 4 with a 3 wing - and I've been able to identify, spot and recognize many like me. But that's just one language. Human expression is INFINITE but conditioning is finite - and let's face it, we're all conditioned! Along similar lines, because we have a limited set of narratives and a limited set of conditioned archetypes.

As I see it, freedom is sensing the unconditioned and understanding the coexistence of the conditioned with the unconditioned.

Even all this writing is a set of conditioning, a language and a way of framing that is limited to my understanding, experience and knowledge. And while those things are infinite our ability to express them is finite at any given moment. I am always amazed that someone could read this and get very close to exactly what I mean, it's amazing!

Unconditioned to unconditioned and conditioned to conditioned.

Heart to heart, mind to mind.

Beatiful.

Gassho.