As we become more conscious of the things I’ve been writing about lately (how we are constantly avoiding the present moment and so on) many times a whole bunch of repressed, unconscious data starts to unload. We start to feel the anger we might feel towards our parents, towards society and towards life in general, our fears certainly start to surface, including our deepest ones. Guilt and shame about our past also start to surface and trust me, it’s no fun. All of the repressed and suppressed emotions within us start to come out for resolution.
The material of the past tends to cause anger, guilt and shame and thinking about the future usually causes tremendous fear and anxiety. It’s amazing how virtually every human being walking the earth is loaded with these pushed down feelings and they don’t even know it. If I were to tell anyone I know all of this stuff they would likely ask: “What are you talking about? I don’t have any of those feelings.” And of course I understand this – how would they know? We’ve worked so hard at avoiding our feelings for so long, that we've become experts at suppressing and repressing, so much so that many times we’re not even aware that we're doing it! It’s become an innocent, automatic and deeply unconscious process.
The reason why most of us aren’t interested in this type of stuff and even consider things like these useless chatter is because we are terrified of the hidden recesses of our psyches. We are so fearful of ourselves that as a defense mechanism we unconsciously shut down our ability to see what we think is overwhelming within us. The truth is that most of us have enormous amounts of hidden, heavy and dark material. A simple way to see this is to turn on the news or read the newspaper… simpler yet, listen to how often we complain and how judgmental most of us are. Those are all ways the hidden, rotten, old material sticks its face out for a moment. The kicker is that we are so collectively unconscious that this has all become normal behavior. Judging another is normal, constant complaining is normal, constant negativity is normal, constant pessimism is normal, constantly playing the victim is normal, constantly being in fear or terror of the future is normal.
The reason why we all enable ourselves to live this kind of life is because we have collectively agreed that we are going to stay miserable and support each other in our misery. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that I certainly didn’t come up with: misery enjoys company. The reason why misery enjoys company is because misery couldn’t possibly survive without company! Imagine a miserable person around nine truly, sincerely and honestly happy people? His misery wouldn’t last much, would it? The happy people wouldn’t fall into his or her drama for a million bucks! Who would? Truly happy people know that life is a gift, that it is great while at the same time not being in denial about the harshness that it can present.
The point of this writing certainly isn’t to beat down on your misery, in fact, what I really want to do with this one is to tell you that I really understand. I understand how you feel; I understand the anger, the guilt, the shame, the fear and all other emotions hidden in your emotional closet. I would like to encourage you to express these emotions, to let them out of the closet, to experience them and to set them free. The process of doing this is certainly not pleasant at all, believe me, I’ve been going through a long period of this and it feels like ass.
Some things I could tell you to make the process easier for you, if you are brave enough to allow it to happen, are that none of the stories you tell yourself in your head are true. They might have been true in the past, but they are obviously not true now. You may have to dig for your stories; most people I know are so unconscious that they couldn’t even start to imagine that they have deep stories embedded in their subconscious. Typical ones are: “I’m not loved,” “No one cares,” “I’m not worthy,” “I hate the world,” “Life sucks,” “I’m alone,” “No one listens,” “I want to die,” “The world is scary,” “I can’t do it,” “I suck,” “I have it worse than everybody else,” and on and on it goes. If you want to find out you’ll have to do the digging.
Again, none of these stories or whichever you come up with could possibly be true at this moment. The fact that you are reading this is an obvious sign that things are going well for you… if they weren’t you’d be doing something other than reading an article that is obviously aimed at exposing your internal reality and allowing it to flow out of your insides. Only those ready for this will read this, that’s the way it works. I wish I could get this message to the kids that are in the process of forming negative self-beliefs… that’s what you and I once did, and that is why we now have to read things like these to overcome our limitations.
By the way, if you’re like most people, you may be wondering what the payoff for doing all of this is… well, you just get more honest, more real, more true, more understanding, more compassionate, more caring and more loving with life, with yourself and with others. Do you want that? To me, the only true happiness there is, is the joy of loving and understanding. Anything that’s not that, is not really happiness, it’s more like delusion, which is actually what most of us experience daily.